Love Potion Version 90
by Twin Shadows
Summary: To get even with Ichigo, Renji fed him one of Urahara's experiments. The result: Ichigo's got a smell that keeps guys away and makes girls lose control. Can he find a cure before something bad, or good, happens? Inspired by Franchise's "Run Ichigo Run".
1. Chapter 1

_****_

This story is dedicated to the author

** Franchise**_** whose story, "Run Ichigo Run," is the inspiration behind this one. And **_**Franchise**_**, if you read this, tell me what you think.**_

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 1**

"Somehow Ichigo," Renji muttered bitterly, shuffling boxes around, "I am gonna get back at you for this."

Currently he was working in the back of Urahara's Shop, doing whatever chores that needed doing. That was the arrangement he made with Kisuke Urahara in order to get some spending money that he desperately needed since yesterday.

'And it's all because of that bastard Ichigo,' he thought angrily, remembering the "Unspeakable Event" which had occurred in his "nemesis's" room.

_/Flashback…/_

_"Ichigo!" Rukia said. "I'm bored and it's hot out."_

_"So what am I supposed to do about it?" Ichigo snapped back, running his hand through his orange hair in frustration as he kept his eyes on his homework._

_"Maybe you could take her someplace to cool off," Renji put in sarcastically. This got him a glare from Ichigo. However, the expression changed to a mischievous grin which made Renji nervous._

_"I've got a better idea," he said smoothly, tearing a piece of paper off and writing something on it. "Why don't _you_ take Rukia to here? My sisters love the ice cream there." He held the scrap out to the two Soul Reapers before him._

_"Why would I go to an ice cream place with Rukia?" This got Renji a tug on the back of his shirt._

_"Are you implying something, Renji?" Rukia asked, her voice lowered to a deadly hiss._

_"Well," Ichigo interjected, "I figured that Rukia would like some ice cream."_

_"I can get ice cream here," Rukia replied, looking at Ichigo like he was brain-damaged._

_"So when did we get that limited edition Chappy the Rabbit ice cream like at this place?" Ichigo asked, waving the scrap of paper around teasingly. "You know, the one that's shape to look just like Chappy."_

_'Oh hell no,' Renji thought as he saw Rukia's face light up. 'He said the "C" word.' In the time it took him to blink, the piece of paper in Ichigo's hand was gone and Rukia was pulling Renji towards the door via his ponytail. "Dammit Rukia!! Yer gonna rip my hair out!"_

_"HAIR LATER! CHAPPY NOW!!!" Rukia shouted. Renji looked over at Ichigo, only to see him give Renji a two-fingered salute and a smirk before the door slammed shut._

_"I'll get you for this, you bastard!!" Renji yelled out, even as Rukia dragged him down the stairs._

_/…End Flashback/_

The end result had been Rukia draining him of all his money for 9 consecutive Chappy ice creams _and_ the medicine for her headache that resulted from said ice cream. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, Urahara had offered him a way to get some money to make up for the money lost: 500 yen per hour that Renji works at his shop and he had to do everything he was told to do. Now, he was working on moving some things around in Kisuke's backroom.

'Once I get some time to myself, I'll think of something to get my revenge on Ichigo,' he thought, sliding a box to the side. However, he pushed it with such force that it hit a shelf and knocked off a cardboard box off the top shelf, landing on top of his head and making him loose his balance. Shaking his head, Renji took a look at the label on the box.

"'LP Series; Handle with Care,'" he read aloud. Curious, he opened the box to see a group of nine bottles, all with different labels on them.

"Okay. If I remember correctly, the higher the number, the better it is," he muttered to himself as he checked the labels until he found it. "Okay, 'LP v.9.0'; that means this is the strongest one." Pulling it out and opening the cork, Renji took a whiff. He instantly regretted this action.

"OH MY GOD!!" he said, stuffing the cork back in tightly. "Now I get what the 'LP' stands for: 'Lousy Pungency!' If anybody was dumb enough to drink this stuff, their breath would be enough to drive away a Menos." He paused after hearing himself say this. Then, his face split into a wide and evil grin. "Looks like Lady Luck just saved me the trouble of thinking of my revenge."

* * *

Ichigo was walking home from school, his bag slung over his shoulder. Usually, Rukia would be walking with him but there was a hollow situation on the other side of town and she went for it, despite his protests that it was dangerous to go it alone. This left him with only his thoughts as company.

Currently, he was thinking about yesterday with the whole incident with Renji, Rukia and the ice cream. He knew that it was kinda wrong to use Renji as a distraction for Rukia, but he needed to finish his homework for class today; and he knew Rukia wouldn't stop bugging him if he didn't do something. 'As soon as I see Renji, I'm gonna apologize and try to make it up to him,' he thought. Then he heard someone calling his name.

"Hey Ichigo!" Renji called, jogging over to him. He was wearing his gigai that made him look like a hippie, complete with bell-bottom pants. Ichigo took note that there was a Styrofoam container under Renji's arm.

"Hey Renji," he said back, holding up his free hand in greetings. "Listen, about yesterday…"

"Hey, don't worry about it," Renji interrupted, catching Ichigo off-guard. "There's no pointing in getting angry about it. Hell, I would've done the same thing to you if I was in your shoes." After this, he held the container out to his friend. "I made this as a peace offering, so that we could officially put this behind us."

Cocking his head to the side, Ichigo took the container and opened it. Inside was a plate of curry rice with what looked like chicken pieces and different vegetables. The whole thing looked pretty good considering he didn't even know that Renji could cook; although the smell was a little stronger than what he normally got from curry.

'I guess this is a Soul Society recipe, so it's made to be strong.' Looking over at Renji, he saw that the 'chef' was watching him expectantly and holding up a spoon. 'Well, he did go through all this trouble,' he thought before setting down his bag and accepting the spoon before he took a bite.

"Well?" Ichigo swallowed the bite and looked at Renji.

"It's okay," he replied, scooping up another spoonful. "It smells a little strong though. Also, it tastes kinda funny. Not bad, just funny."

"Oh don't worry," Renji said dismissively, "That's how it's supposed to be. Well, see ya 'round." With that, he turned and walked off, grinning from ear to ear.

"Guess he's real happy I liked his cooking," Ichigo said, closing the container of curry and grabbing his bag before jogging home.

* * *

After dodging his crazy father's attacks, Ichigo sat at his desk, eating the curry Renji gave him. Hearing a shuffling sound from his window, he turned to see Rukia climbing in.

"What kept ya?" he asked. She just glared at him.

"In case you didn't know," she replied scathingly, "I had to deal with several hollows _alone_."

"I offered to go with you, but noooo, you just had to prove you could handle things on your own." This got him a kick to the shins.

"Anyway, after fighting these hollows, I come back here to find you stuffing your face. Where'd you get that curry anyway?"

"Renji made it. Ran into him today and he gave it to me." With that, he scooped up the last of it and ate it. "Turns out, he's a decent cook."

"And it didn't even occur to you that I might want some?" she asked incredulously.

"Well think of it this way," Ichigo said getting up and heading towards the door, "Since I ate that curry, there's a good chance I might not be able to finish my dinner; if that happens, you get more food."

"Fine," Rukia shrugged, following after him.

"After all, you need all the nutrients you can get if you expect to be a big girl."

--WHAM--

"I knew it! You were just calling me short!!"

* * *

The next morning, Ichigo woke up to the pounding of his Dad's feet. 'Great. Here we go.' With that, the door swing open.

"GOOOOOD MORNING ICHI--" Just then, he gagged and fell to the floor, his hands to his face.

"You having a seizure, Dad?" Ichigo asked, looking slightly concerned before glaring suspiciously. "Or is this just a faking out to attack me while my back's turned?"

"For pity's sake, son," Isshin wheezed, "I can respect your need to show off your manly smell, but this is too much. It smells like something died in here."

"Huh?" Ichigo took a quick whiff before turning back to his Dad. "I don't stink, Dad. If you need me, I'll be in the shower." Grabbing his school clothes and a towel, he left.

* * *

When he came back down the stairs, Ichigo saw his sisters and Rukia sitting at the table.

"Oh good morning, Ichigo," Rukia said, going through her 'I'm-totally-innocent-and-sweet' act which Ichigo hated.

"How'd you sleep, Big Brother?" Yuzu asked, smiling warmly as she stood holding her ladle.

"All right," he muttered, grabbing a piece of toast as he sat down.

"What was all that commotion upstairs earlier?" Karin asked dully, eyes peering at him through her dark bangs.

"He tried his morning attack on me, but he stopped because he thought I smelled bad," he replied with a shrug. And speak of the devil…

"ICHIGO!!" Isshin hollered, his voice nasally from his nose pinched shut by a clothespin. "How can you stand there like you don't smell like a dump truck?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T STINK!!" Ichigo yelled back indignantly. After that, he ducked as Isshin kicked out and the two started beating on each other.

"Hey you two. Stop fighting this instant," Yuzu told them off. Karin just kept eating before snatching a piece of food from her brother's abandoned plate.

"Just leave 'em be, Yuzu," she commented. "More food for the rest of us."

"But Dad's saying that Ichigo smells bad and I can't smell anything." With this, Karin sighed and got up to go over to kick her father in the head. This got both parties to temporarily stop their beatdown session.

"Just out of curiosity, old man," she said slowly, "When was the last time you changed your socks?"

"My darling daughter, you should know me better than that," he replied hopping back onto his feet. "I never change socks until Friday night!"

"In other words, five consecutive days," she deadpanned.

"Rukia, my beloved third daughter," he called out, snapping said girl to attention, "I need you to be the impartial judge. Smell Ichigo and tell us what you think." This caused Rukia to choke on her food and start coughing, while both her and Ichigo to go red with embarrassment.

'He wants me to _smell_ Ichigo? What the hell?!' she thought desperately. She knew of Isshin's perverted attitude intimately, but this was too much! Quickly, she tried to get out of it with her classic act. "Mr. Kurosaki, Ichigo and I are just friends; if I did this, it would totally put our friendship into an awkward place."

"Nonsense Rukia. It won't matter anyway once you're married--" which got him a double kick to the head.

"Let's get out of here before he starts again," Ichigo said, grabbing both school bags and heading out the door. Rukia followed before turning around and bowing and leaving, closing the door behind her.

"Here," Ichigo said, passing Rukia her bag, who accepted it with a nod. Rukia walked silently before grabbing Ichigo's collar. "What?"

Without a word, she pulled his head down and sniffed at his neck before letting him go. "I don't get why your father was complaining, Ichigo. You don't smell bad at all. Although," she added with a smirk, "you should lay off the cologne. It's pretty strong."

"I don't wear cologne," he muttered, glowing red again and moved faster.

"Hey, wait up Ichigo," she called, running to catch up to him. Though she didn't want to admit it, he did smell pretty good; kind of a warm, cinnamon scent. 'Guess I just never noticed it before. Then again, I've never actually taken the time to put my nose to his neck.'

* * *

When they arrived at the classroom, Ichigo sat down at his seat and waited for the usual event: Keigo Asano making a mad dash at him, which ended with Keigo on the floor in pain. And just like clockwork…

"ICHIGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" There came Keigo, running at break-neck speed in his direction. However, he skidded to a halt right in front of Ichigo who had his fist out. 'Guess Keigo's starting to wise up,' Ichigo thought surprised. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

Keigo grabbed his face, specifically at his mouth and nose, and started to cough and groan dramatically before dropping to his knees, not even looking up. "Geez Ichigo," he complained, "What'd you do, bathe in raw sewage?"

"Nice job, Ichigo. You've managed to beat him up without even hitting him." Looking over his shoulder, he saw two girls, one with long, strawberry-blonde hair and a developed figure smiling confusedly at him and one with dark hair and looked physically fit, wearing a knowing smirk pointed at him.

"Don't blame me, Tatsuki," Ichigo said pointing at Keigo. "He's the second guy to say I stink today."

"Well, did you remember to clean up before you left home this morning, Ichigo?" asked Orihime, cocking her head to the side. Before he could answer, a pair of female hands grabbed at her chest.

"Oh Orihime," Chizuru cooed, "You're so considerate to a slob like him." However, before she went any further, she received a kick to the jaw from an angry Tatsuki.

"Damn it, Chizuru! Don't you ever quit?!" she yelled, her dark bangs slightly swaying from her quick movement.

"HOW CAN YOU GUYS JUST ACT LIKE ICHIGO DOESN'T SMELL LIKE A TOXIC WASTE DUMP?!?!" Keigo hollered, though his hollering was muffled from his hands covering his mouth. The three turned to look at the writhing boy on the ground. Then Tatsuki grabbed Ichigo's wrist and shoved him toward Chizuru.

"Here," she said, pushing him forward. "Maybe you can make her go away with your massive B.O."

'Great,' he thought bitterly, 'Now I'm being used as Chizuru repellent.'

Chizuru just stood there, blinking. Then, leaned in and took an experimental sniff. Then, moving around, she started smelling his torso, even moving up his arms to smell underneath; the whole thing made Ichigo very uncomfortable.

"Hey guys," Rukia said as she came over, fake smile in place. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to see if Ichigo's scent is going to be as repulsive to Chizuru as it is to Keigo," Tatsuki said bluntly.

"I can't smell anything, Tatsuki," Orihime said, blinking.

Chizuru put Ichigo's arm down, currently standing behind him. "Well," she said straightening her glasses, "You smell pretty good, I guess."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ichigo cried out, loud enough to make everyone in class turn to look at the group. "Someone just grabbed my butt!" The eyes of the crowd shifted from Ichigo, who had a hand on his waist, to Chizuru, who blinked confused… until she looked at her free hand which was curled to look like it had held something.

"Oh my god!" came the surprised cry of Mahana, who was pointing at the group. "Chizuru felt up Ichigo!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 2**

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" Chizuru screamed, her hands flying to her head in fear. "This isn't happening!!"

"Wow," Tatsuki said in awe. "And I thought people didn't start experimenting until college."

"Hey guys," asked Mizurio, coming up from behind with Chad beside him. "What's up with Chizuru?"

"She just grabbed Ichigo's rear and now they're freaking out about it," Tatsuki said pointing. This made Ichigo turn to glare at her.

"GLAD TO SEE THIS IS SO FUNNY TO YA, TATSUKI!!" he yelled. Uryu then got up from his seat and went over to the scene. Stopping and opening his mouth to speak, he inhaled through and gagged.

"What is that stench?" he gasped, somehow pushing up his glasses and plugging his nose with the same hand.

"Ichigo," Keigo gasped, still on the floor, clutching at his throat.

Mizurio groaned and took a step back. "Ugh, now I smell it," he complained. Chad just pinched his nose and made a guttural sound in his throat.

"Oh come on! You guys too?!" Ichigo groused angrily.

"I've got it!" Chizuru said suddenly, getting everyone's attention. "I know what I must do!" She then turned and jumped, her arms wide open. "Come into my embrace, my Orihime!!"

"Twice in one day; she just doesn't get it," Tatsuki muttered, rolling up her sleeve to prepare for a punch; but she stopped when she saw who Chizuru had grabbed.

"AHA!" Chizuru declared triumphantly. "At last Tatsuki, you have failed to stop me from coming together with my precious Orihime!"

Looking over, she grinned cheekily over at Tatsuki…who was standing next to a confused Orihime. 'Wait,' she thought as she ran her fingers down her victim's hard chest, 'If Orihime's over there, then who is this?' Looking up, she stared at Ichigo, who was looking over his shoulder with a shocked look on his face and his mouth gaping wide open. For a moment, no one spoke; but then…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" screamed Chizuru, jumping backwards and pointing a shaking finger at him. "You keep away from me, Ichigo Kurosaki!!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GRABBED ME!!!" he hollered back, his face glowing red from embarrassment. Apparently, Chizuru wasn't interested in listening to reason. Grabbing two rulers on a desk, she held them up as a cross in front of her.

"Your evil masculinity won't beat me!" she declared. Ichigo just stared at her before reaching out and grabbed the rulers away from her. Naturally, that made her upset. "NO! His evil male power is too strong for me to defeat alone!" she cried, falling to her knees in apparent despair with tears streaming dramatically down her face.

"'Evil male power?' Are you serious?" Tatsuki asked blankly.

"Well if you're so cool, why don't _you_ try to resist him?!" Chizuru challenged. "Do everything that I did before he trapped me in his evil clutches!"

"Isn't that a little over the top, Chizuru?" Rukia asked sweetly. Even though she wore her fake smile, Ichigo could still tell she was secretly enjoying this.

"Fine. Ichigo, stand still so I can get a decent smell off ya," Tatsuki said, walking over to her blushing friend. Getting right in front of him, she could see Ichigo was looking to the side instead of at her. "Oh relax, Ichigo. It'll be over in a second, so stop being so prudish."

Leaning forward, Tatsuki took a slow inhale at his throat. Her nostrils were met with a strong, spicy aroma. 'Wow. I don't know what the guys were talking about; Ichigo smells rather…good.' Moving her head back up, she looked Ichigo straight in the eyes, or as straight as she could with his head turned away from her. "You should definitely wear this cologne more often. Maybe you'll actually get a girlfriend one of these days," she teased.

This got his attention because he looked at her, his face red and his eyes were indignant. "First off Tatsuki, I never and I mean _never_ wear cologne; and secondly," he growled out, holding up his hands, "I'm going to put my hands onto yours." With that, he put his left hand on his side and his right on his right shoulder. "Notice where I put them?"

Tatsuki just blinked. She could feel his hands on top of hers, but he hadn't reached out for them. Then, she took a second look at where he had put his hands and saw that he had, in fact, put his hands on hers…but somehow, her hands had made their way onto him without her telling them to. Instantly, her face went beet-red as she yelped and jumped away from him, refusing to look at him. Thankfully, she was saved from any embarrassing questions with the arrival of Ms. Ochi.

"All right, settle down you hooligans," she called out, walking to the front of the room. Everyone else sat down in their seats, the only thing different about the arrangement being that all the guys tried to move away from their positions near Ichigo; when this failed, they settled for trying to keep their noses plugged.

* * *

Right now, it was lunch break and the girls were gathered under a tree; and right now, that meant it was open season on discussing a girl's personal life, or in this case, what had happened in the middle of class today involving two girls and one strawberry.

"Seriously, what was with you two and Ichigo today?" Mahana asked, looking intently at Chizuru, who was curled up in a fetal position, and Tatsuki, who was red with embarrassment. "I mean, neither of you have shown any interest in a romantic relationship with Ichigo and now, both of you have felt his body in public."

"Mahana," Michiru spoke softly. "Maybe you should take it easy; it's obviously hard for them to talk about."

"But it's especially shocking since Chizuru is supposedly only into girls and Tatsuki's never had a boyfriend," Mahana countered before turning to Rukia who had been sitting quietly, drinking her juice. "What do you make of this whole thing, Rukia?"

Rukia looked up at everyone staring at her, waiting for her opinion. She had to admit, it was a surprisingly nice change from everyone questioning her about whether she was in a relationship with Ichigo that went beyond friendship. Going into her "perfect schoolgirl act" as she called it, she said, "Well, maybe they were just being friendly. Don't friends hug each other when they're close?"

"Hey," Tatsuki growled, "I wasn't hugging Ichigo that closely."

"Oh please," Ryo put in, not even looking up from her book. "I actually thought that samba music would start playing and the two of you would start dancing." This earned her a hard glare from Tatsuki.

"Tatsuki?" Orihime asked, her head cocked to the side.

"Orihime, I promise you, me and Ichigo are just friends. I have no idea why my hands were on him at all," Tatsuki said firmly. It was no secret that Orihime had a major crush on Ichigo (excluding the guy himself). So it was imperative that, as her friend, Tatsuki help her where needed; and for situations like this, explain things to avoid misunderstandings.

"What I want to know is how Chizuru missed Orihime when she was practically next to her," Mahana said. "Even you have to admit Tatsuki, she makes your job easy since she doesn't miss when it comes to going after girls, especially Orihime."

"I have to agree," Michiru said softly, being another victim of Chizuru's unwanted attention. Turning to look at the girl still in her fetal position, she asked, "How come you did go after Ichigo, Chizuru?"

"This is a traumatic experience for me, guys," she muttered, rocking back and forth, her eyes pointing at the ground. "Ichigo made me feel his vile, male body and I don't need you all making fun of my pain." She ended her sentence with tears starting to well up in her eyes. All the other girls looked at each other at this before looking back at her.

"So when you grabbed his ass, how did it feel?" Mahana asked bluntly. Everyone stared at this abrupt question.

"But that's such a personal question, Mahana," Michiru said, reproachfully. However, the answer came from Chizuru.

"You kn-know how they bounce coi-coins off of beds in hotels to-to check if they're fir-firm?" she said, her voice shaking. From the looks she got as a response (in fact, Rukia was thinking, "Why would humans bounce a coin on a bed? I thought only people bounced on it."), it was clear they weren't getting the picture she was setting. "We-well, if he was to-to lie facedown, an-and you flipped a coi-coin at his rear," and here, she was getting close to wailing, "the coin would bounce straight up!"

The other girls just looked at each other in shock. The proud lesbian had just told everyone that there was a quality that she liked about a _man_. That was just what Mahana needed to keep prying.

"So how hard was his chest?"

"HARD AS A ROCK!!!" Chizuru wailed, her tears streaming down her face.

"Wow, you poor girl," Mahana said sarcastically. "You're right; I should be more sensitive since you got to feel a hot guy's body and I don't have a man at all."

"Mahana, stop being so rude," Michiru reproached.

"Let it go, Michiru," Ryo said, not looking interested in what was happening while she ate her food. "Chizuru is probably just in denial at the fact that she's really a bisexual instead of a full-fledged homosexual." This jumped Chizuru from her 'depressed' state to her 'rage' mode.

"I'M NOT IN DENIAL!!!" she yelled, fire dancing behind her. "It's all because Ichigo brainwashed me with his evil mind-control cologne!"

"Chizuru, he's the 23rd smartest student in our class," Ryo said dully. "If we were talking about Uryu Ishida, then I might believe this psycho theory of yours. But since it's Ichigo Kurosaki, I can guarantee you that he is too stupid to make a mind-control anything."

"But Ichigo _is_ smart, Ryo," Orihime interjected sounding offended. She got distracted when Tatsuki patted her head.

"We know Ichigo's smart, Orihime," she assured her friend, "But I have to agree with Ryo on this. But look at it this way: mad science isn't something that Ichigo's good at, so we don't have to worry about him trying to take over the world." She meant this as a joke, but Orihime and Rukia both knew that the opposite was closer to the truth.

"I'm not crazy!" Chizuru persisted. "Why else would Tatsuki end up holding onto him after she smelled him?" Ryo just rolled her eyes at this, but Tatsuki looked thoughtful.

"I hate to admit it, but she might have a point," she said carefully. "It does seem strange that, after I smelled him, I find my hands on him. What did it smell like to you?"

"Oh, he has a warm and spicy smell, kinda like cinnamon." All eyes shifted to look in surprise to Rukia, who had returned to drinking her juice before realizing what happened. 'Did I say that out loud?!'

"Yeah, that's exactly what he smelled like," Tatsuki replied before turning to look at Chizuru. "Did he smell that way to you?" Said girl covered her mouth with both hands and shaking her head furiously, making it clear that she didn't want to answer. "Just nod your head if it's 'yes' or shake your head for 'no'." Hesitating, she finally nodded. "Now, the question on everyone else's mind is: how did _you_ know he smelled that way, Rukia?" Tatsuki asked suspiciously, while everyone leaned forward in anticipation.

The interviewee herself was holding a nervous smile in place while a bead of sweat ran down her cheek. 'Okay, stay calm Rukia. You can easily get out of this. Just say, "I helped his sisters find the cologne for his birthday,"; it might not be the best explanation, but it should be enough for them. Come on, Rukia say it. "I helped his sisters find it," "I helped his sisters find it!"' However, when she opened her mouth to answer…

"I smelled his neck when we were on our way to school this morning!" she said sweetly with an innocent smile on her face. This got everyone else to stare at her in amazement. Orihime coughed slightly from the food going down the wrong pipe in shock. It was then Rukia realized what she just said. 'WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT?!?!'

"I-I never knew you were so bold Rukia," Michiru said nervously. She herself was terrified of Ichigo because his scowl made him look intimidating to her.

"So, where'd ya feel him up?" Mahana inquired. This got Rukia to start sweating bullets.

'Oh great. Now they're going to be back to prying about me and Ichigo's relationship,' she thought helplessly. Then she spoke out in an attempt to keep their thoughts from running wild. "Bu-but I didn't. That's why it's so silly that Ichigo uses mind control, because I haven't done anything to him. Honest!" The snap of a book closing saved her further embarrassment.

"All right," Ryo said standing up. "Now that we know that Rukia hasn't done anything to Ichigo, despite repeating the supposed actions that caused both Tatsuki and Chizuru to act like that, we can now say that there is enough evidence on both sides to conduct a little experiment."

"Ryo," Michiru whined worriedly. "You're not actually suggesting that we go and talk to Ichigo about this, do you?"

"More than that, we're going to disprove Chizuru's babbling nonsense by sampling this so-called 'mind-control cologne' for ourselves," Ryo explained in a superior tone, "And when I prove that I'm right, we forget this whole thing as an isolated incident."

"NO WAY!!!" Chizuru yelled, scrambling to wrap her arms around the tree behind her. "Do you know what he'll do to me if I go near him?! HUH?! DO YOU?!"

"I'm with Chizuru," Michiru added, holding her hand in front of her mouth nervously. "He's way too dangerous to try and approach."

"Oh don't worry," Orihime said smiling happily. Since she had slightly faded out of the conversation, she had no idea what the others were talking about and thereby wasn't as embarrassed as everyone else. "Why would Ichigo want to hurt you?"

"Orihime, you do realize we're talking about smelling Ichigo, right?" Tatsuki asked, slightly impressed that her friend hadn't gone red with the thought…until Orihime's cheeks turned into traffic lights.

"Chizuru, you, Tatsuki and Rukia won't be doing this since you've already one so and there's point in repeating what has already been done," Ryo continued, annoyed at being interrupted. "However, I will need you there to see that I'm right, so everyone follow me."

"No thanks," Chizuru called over from her place next to the tree. "I'm happy just hugging this tree. I think I've got some splinters in my hands, but it's better than hugging a boy." The other girls just sweatdropped at this.

"Come on, you coward!" Tatsuki said angrily as she grabbed Chizuru's ankles and started pulling hard.

"NO! He'll steal my soul!" Chizuru yelled despairingly, her hands still gripping the tree trunk.

"If he doesn't, I get second dibs!" her puller replied. The group would never admit it out loud, but the whole sight was quite funny. Finally, Tatsuki tugged Chizuru free of the tree, the girl desperately clawing at the ground and sobbing as she was dragged.

"All right. Let's get this over with," Tatsuki commented as she walked past the other girls. "Chances are he's on the roof with the other guys. Follow me."

'I thought this was _my_ experiment,' Ryo mentally complained as she and the rest of the girls followed suit.

* * *

_**Sorry if the chapter seems cut short, but it will continue in the next chapter. And so I won't get nailed for plagiarism, I got the "He'll steal my soul; I get second dibs" bit from **_**The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy**_**. 'Til next time.**_

**-- TwinShadows**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 3**

When the girls reached the roof, they opened the door to see strange sight. Ichigo was sitting with his back against the wire fence with a water bottle in his hand, his face contorted in annoyance and an eyebrow was twitching violently. The reason for his frustration was obvious: the other guys had formed a semi-circle around him at a wide radius.

"What's with the perimeter, boys?" Mahana asked, grabbing the male half's attention.

"Unfortunately, this is as close as we can get to Ichigo without passing out from the smell," Mizurio replied through his hand, earning a glare from the perpetrator.

"For the last time," Ichigo growled out, "I do not stink; you're all just imagining it."

"Interesting that you mention that Ichigo," Ryo said stepping forward. Ichigo just stared blankly at her. "You don't know who I am, do you?"

"No, but I can tell you're a snob." This made an angry vein pop out of Ryo's forehead before she took a deep breath to calm herself, ignoring the quiet snickering beside and behind her.

"It's Ryo, and regardless of what you think of me, you might be interested in Chizuru's theory about what happened this morning in class." Hearing this, Ichigo went red and looked away, Tatsuki's cheeks got a red tinge, and Chizuru covered her ears to block out the topic.

"Why don't you just drop it?" he muttered, taking a sip of his water.

"I second that! Now let's go back and I can cuddle with someone!" Chizuru called from behind Michiru who stepped to the side away from the red-head. Ryo ignored her and continued.

"You see, she believes that the cologne you're wearing is some form of mind-control drug and we both know you lack the intelligence to assemble such a creation," she explained, blatantly disregarding the angry glare sent to her in reply to her not-so-subtle insult.

"How many times do I have to tell you people that I do not wear any kind of cologne? So will you just get to your point already?!" he groused at her before tipping his head back to take a big swig of water.

"The only way for her to realize how ridiculous she sounds is if those of us who haven't already smelled you, do so to confirm it." Hearing this, Ichigo choked on the water in his mouth before spitting the mouthful back into the bottle coughing violently.

"WHAT?!?!" he yelled in astonishment.

"WHY WOULD WANT TO GET NEAR SKUNK-BOY AT ALL?!" Keigo hollered, making sure that he wasn't close enough to Ichigo to smell him or get hit by him.

"No offense to you Ichigo, but I'm kind of in agreement with Mr. Asano," Mizurio added, ignoring Keigo's expected, "Why, Mizurio?! We're supposed to be friends!!" Next to him, Chad just looked down, indicating that he didn't like agreeing with the two and Uryu simply pushed up his glasses, ignoring the whole thing.

"Rukia, Chizuru and I all smelled him and we didn't smell anything like you're smelling guys," Tatsuki replied coolly (though her cheeks did redden with the thought), resulting in Chizuru starting to rock on her heels tears in her eyes, and Rukia glancing off to the side to avoid the angry 'You-told-them-that?!' glare coming from Ichigo.

"So now," Ryo continued, keeping her gaze fixed on Ichigo, "I assume that now you will agree to this experi--"

"The hell I will!" The interruption made her twitch all over with rage, though thankfully she was able to keep it all hidden from her audience. "I don't care what those guys over there think of me," Ichigo carried on, jabbing his thumb at the male half-circle around him, "But I refuse to let myself be poked and prodded just because you're bored!"

"Well Ichigo," Rukia said sweetly, sidling up to him, "If you _really_ don't care what people think of you, then you should be secure enough to get this out of the way. After all," she added, bringing her head down to meet Ichigo eye-to-eye, still talking in a honeyed voice, "We _could_ keep this to ourselves or tell everyone we meet; it's all up to you."

Ichigo growled at her, eyebrow twitching. He knew exactly what she was doing. She was playing on his need to keep his image intact by threatening to make him out to be either: a) a wimp who was afraid of girls or b) a player who toyed with women's emotions. 'And knowing Rukia,' he thought bitterly, 'She'd probably find someway to make the two fit together.'

"Fine," he grumbled. He didn't get how the other students around could miss the triumphant smirk that was on Rukia's face. Lifting his hand to drink from his water bottle, Ichigo and everyone else was startled when Rukia snatched it right out of his hands.

"Why thank you, Ichigo. How thoughtful of you," she stated happily, raising the bottle to her lips.

"Uh, Rukia--" Orihime started.

"Orihime, could you wait until I'm done? I'm terribly thirsty," she waved at her friend before trying to take a drink.

"Rukia, maybe you should--" Chad tried this time.

"Just wait a minute please, Chad."

"Seriously Rukia, just listen to--" Ichigo attempted in an attempt to spare her dignity (and himself a beating later).

"Everyone," she replied, waving her hand above her head, "Whatever you want to tell me, I'm sure that it can wait until _after_ I've had a sip of water." With that, she put the mouth of the bottle to her lips and started drinking the water until the bottle was half full. "Ahh," she sighed.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" Keigo cried, tears streaming comically down his cheeks. "HOW COULD YOU, RUKIA?!"

"What did I do, Keigo?" she asked innocently, and this time she was being sincere.

"I'm with him, Rukia," Mahana interjected, moving to stand right in front of Rukia and look at her in the eyes. "How can you claim to be 'just friends' with Ichigo when you'll drink his spit?" Rukia just blinked.

"Huh?" she asked, too stunned to say anything else.

"When Rhonda here told me you guys were going to smell me," Ichigo spoke jerking his thumb at Ryo, who muttered, "My name is Ryo."; "I had water in my mouth, which I spat back into the bottle."

"And since there's only one way for the water to go out and you used it, there's only place that it's gonna be going to now," Tatsuki put in, smirking.

"That's why we tried to stop you," Orihime said.

"Well," Rukia said slowly, almost losing her acting face, "Since it was an accident, I think there's no need to delve into this any further; and Mahana," she added, turning to look at the mentioned girl, "I didn't notice that he spat into his water, so you can't claim anything by it." That was what she said out loud, at least. On the inside, however…

'When there aren't any witnesses, Ichigo is so going to pay for this!' she thought angrily, as her mind had put Ichigo at blame, since technically it was _his_ saliva she unknowingly drank.

"Enough of this useless prattling," Ryo interrupted before lunch time was over, "Now then," she continued turning to look at the other girls next to her, "Who will volunteer to be the first one to smell him?" At this, the other girls all took a giant step back, Tatsuki pulling Orihime by the back of her shirt, leaving Ryo the closest, since Rukia had sidestepped to stand beside Michiru.

"We-we figured that since it's _your_ experiment, you would like to be the first one to participate," Michiru answered, with everyone nodding in agreement.

"Well if all of you insist," she muttered sarcastically, turning and walking towards Ichigo who was staring at her warily.

"She's the bravest person I've ever known if she can get that close to _that_ disgusting creature," Chizuru said in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, it's like his bad smell is starting to get worse," Mizurio commented, slightly pinching his nose.

"What smell? All men are disgusting creatures," she replied automatically.

"You didn't think he was so disgusting when you grabbed his butt and his chest," Keigo said suggestively.

"Tatsuki grabbed him too," Chizuru complained, pointing at the aforementioned black belt. "Why aren't you saying that to her?!?"

"Because as dumb as Keigo is, even he's not stupid enough to push Tatsuki's buttons," Mahana interjected, causing Keigo's jaw to drop wide open.

"She's got you there, Mr. Asano," Mizurio said, making Keigo cry as he said, "WHY, Mizurio?! WWWHHYYY?!?!"

"I've finished," Ryo announced as she leaned back from Ichigo's head, sitting on her legs. "My personal assessment is that his aroma, while strangely attractive, has not disturbed my cognitive reasoning skills."

"Thanks," Ichigo said, frown deepening as his face started reddening, "Now can I have my leg back?"

Stunned at this question, Ryo looked down to see that her left arm was extended and her hand was slowly stroking his thigh. Cheeks starting to dust red, Ryo stood up and went back to the group of girls who were smirking at her, sans Orihime who looked slightly sad.

"Well? What do you say to that, Ryo?" Chizuru said, oozing with cockiness. At first Ryo said nothing, simply glanced to the side blushing.

"I still say that, since I retained my consciousness during the act, it's definitely not mind-control," she finally said stubbornly.

"Yeah, you just wanted to take a turn with feeling him up," Mahana said plainly. This unintentionally got Chizuru back into her fetal position.

"I will concede," Ryo said hesitantly, "That with those, um, well-developed leg muscles," and here she started to shift uncomfortably, "He might have a chance at Track & Field. So, who next?" she added hurriedly, trying to change the subject.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said slowly, eyebrow twitching. "Who are you, now?"

"I'm Mahana" she replied from behind, leaning forward to smell the base of his neck. "You know with the way you smell, if ya smiled once in a while, you'd probably get a girl easily."

"Seriously, would you get off my back?" The way he said it made her frown before putting her face into his peripheral vision.

"Hey, you knew we would get personal with you," she said angrily. "You can be annoyed, but you don't have to be rude."

"I don't mind the personal space issue," Ichigo answered before he stood up…and Mahana found herself hanging from his neck by her arms, her body pushing against his muscular back. "I just want you to get off my back."

"Oh," she replied, dropping down before moving to the front of him. "Well, that's enough for me. Thanks." Turning on her hell, she quickly moved to face Rukia. "You're sure that you and Ichigo are just friends, Rukia?"

"Absolutely," Rukia nodded smiling. Mahana sighed in relief.

"Sweet," she replied. "Because it wouldn't feel right to me to ask him out myself if I knew he was in a relationship already." Apparently, this wasn't the response that anyone, male or female, had expected from the looks she was getting. "Hey," she responded, putting her hands on her hips, "He's a hot guy, and I need some lovin'!

* * *

"No, please don't make me, guys," Michiru whined, pushing the heels of her shoes into the roof tiles as Ryo pulled on her arm and Mahana pushed her in the back. The whole thing made her feel like she was being forced to become a human sacrifice.

"You're just as much a part of this experiment as we are," Ryo explained apathetically. "As such, you are required to participate."

"But he could eat me!"

"Could you guys not talk about me like I'm not even here?" Ichigo put in; naturally, he was ignored.

"Michiru, if he wanted to hurt us for this," Mahana reassured, "He would have done something when Chizuru grabbed him twice, Tatsuki going for his front, Ryo rubbed his thigh or when I was draped on his back."

While this statement was meant to be comforting, all it achieved was the guys gawking at the bluntness of her statement and most of the other girls (Tatsuki and Ryo among them) to go red with embarrassment. The only exceptions were: Chizuru, who had decided it was safer to stand next to Uryu (claiming that he was the most feminine to his annoyance) and had simply settled into going into her "happy place" to escape reality, Orihime, who was anxious from having to go after Michiru and possibly ruining the relationship she already had with Ichigo, and finally Rukia, who upon hearing Mahana's comment, unconsciously let out a noise that sounded like a growl, shocking herself.

Chad heard this and turned to looked at her. "Are you okay, Rukia?"

"Um, yeah. I just had a bit of a cough is all," she replied hastily. 'Where did _that_ come from?'

"WHOA!!" Michiru cried as she was heaved hard enough to make trip over her feet and crashed on top of Ichigo's chest. She lay there perfectly still, hands on either side of Ichigo's body, making sure to breathe slowly in fear of angering him. If she wasn't so terrified, she would've noted the scent he was giving off. Then, she felt him tap her gently on top of her head.

"Hey, you okay?" he said, curious at why she hadn't moved since she landed. Carefully, she lifted her head up to look him in the eyes before she started shaking nervously.

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I-I tripped y-you see a-and PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!" She screamed before ducking her head back down.

"Why would I want to hurt you? I don't even remember your name," he said plainly, putting two fingers under her chin to make her look at him. "Besides," he added, getting a good look at her, "You look so much like my baby sister, Yuzu. It wouldn't feel right to me to hurt you." Letting go of her chin, he glanced down before continuing awkwardly. "So…this hug have a time limit?"

Realizing that her arms had wrapped around his torso, Michiru's face went nuclear red before she jumped up and ran to stand behind Orihime, her head poking out from the strawberry-blonde's shoulder.

"See Michiru," she said smiling happily, "I told you Ichigo wouldn't do anything bad to you."

"Now that he said it," Tatsuki added stepping to look closely at Michiru, who was feeling uncomfortable again, "I can see it myself. You do look a lot like his sister, minus the hair color, skin and the clip."

"G-good to know," the smaller girl replied, moving away to hide her face, but not before sneaking a peek at Ichigo.

* * *

Finally, it was Orihime's turn. _This_ was where everyone went quiet with anticipation. After all, since the other girls had shown no romantic interest in him before now and all had physical contact with him in the same day, it was nerve-wracking to see what the girl with real feelings for him would do.

"Sorry about this, Ichigo," she said sadly, keeping her head down.

"It's not you're fault," he muttered, face red again.

"Perhaps we should stop this," Uryu said to the other guys.

"Why didn't you suggest we stop it when it was with the other girls?" Mizurio inquired, digging out his cellphone to text his girlfriend now that there was a break in the action.

"The other girls _have_ gone uninterrupted, Uryu," Chad put in.

"Yes, because unlike Orihime, none of them have shown any indication that they were interested in them; and look what they did," he answered, pushing up his glasses in annoyance. "Now, take what's happened already, apply that to Orihime's feelings for Ichigo and tell me that there isn't a problem."

"Or maybe," Keigo said suspiciously, holding a magnifying glass in front of his eye as he leaned in to Uryu's face, "You're upset because you secretly love Orih--". He got cut off by Uryu striking him in the throat, leaving him on the ground gasping.

"I don't know what you're implying," he said, eyebrows furrowed.

Everyone stood still in rapt attention as Orihime slowly leaned forward, eyes closed and took a few tentative sniffs. Opening her eyes, Orihime leaned back and blinked before getting to her feet and walking back to stand in front of the other girls.

"Um," she said before giggling nervously, scratching the back of her head. "I'm sorry guys, but I don't smell anything." This made the girls stare at her in astonishment; though Tatsuki was secretly glad that Orihime didn't do anything which could be used by someone else to make fun of her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay so last chapter, I got a review asking me about whether or not I was going to include female arrancar in this. Personally, I hadn't really thought about that, but if enough people review and request it, I'll find a way to work it in.**_

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 4**

"Will you stop your pouting already?" Hearing this, Ichigo glared at Rukia. It was after school and they were walking back to the Kurosaki Clinic.

"Take a look around and tell me that again," he growled, waving his unoccupied hand for effect. All around them, people kept doing one of two things as they passed the two: men were coughing, groaning and complaining about a horrible smell and the women were wondering what the men were talking about. "Besides, I'm still a little unnerved by what Orihime said earlier."

_/Flashback…/_

_"What do you mean you can't smell anything?" Ryo asked curiously._

_"She's in shock!" Chizuru declared loudly. "I will do all in my power to--" before getting slammed into the ground by Tatsuki's foot._

_"Ya never learn do you?" she asked rhetorically._

_"I'm sorry," Orihime said, blinking. "But he just smells like he normally does to me." Hearing this, the air around the group became very still, since that proclamation wasn't something you hear everyday._

_/…End Flashback/_

"Frankly, I don't know what's more disturbing: getting felt up by my classmates in broad daylight or Orihime knowing how I'm supposed to smell," he groused.

"Which reminds me," Rukia said before kicking Ichigo in the shin, earning her a groan from her target. "That's what you get for having me drink your spit, especially with everyone watching."

"How is it my fault you didn't bother listening to everyone trying to warn you?!" he retorted. Rukia sighed.

"Anyway," she continued, "With this little problem of yours, perhaps we should talk to Kisuke about it. Who knows? He might actually know what to do about this."

"Nah, this isn't anything big. Besides, you and I both know he'd find some way to make it worse for me."

Rukia groaned. "You know Ichigo, one of these days that damn stubbornness of yours is gonna bite you in the ass." Turning her head to look at him, she continued, "Plus, with Aizen still out there, we need to be on our guards."

"Rukia, think about that for a second," he replied, stopping to look directly at her. "Aizen's all about doing things that will help him further his goals. How does making people think I smell differently do that for him?"

"I suppose…" she said hesitantly.

"Look by this time tomorrow, everything will be back to our version of normal and we can forget about this," Ichigo answered before the pair continued on to the Kurosaki Clinic. However, Rukia wasn't done thinking about the subject in her mind.

'I wish he would take this seriously,' she thought bitterly. 'Everything always starts out small before we're neck-deep in trouble.'

* * *

"ICHIGO!!" Isshin hollered as the duo came through the door. "How can you come in here smelling as horrible as you did this morning?!"

"I DON'T STINK, OLD MAN; GIVE IT A REST!" Ichigo yelled back, going right into his dad's face, which made him reel back in disgust before he grabbed a dish rag and wrapped around the lower half of his face.

"Just go take a shower and I'll let you have your dinner," he said to Ichigo, his voice muffled from the cloth, as he put his son into a headlock. "Now that sounds reasonable to me."

"Get off me, you psycho!" Ichigo yelled, elbowing his dad in the stomach before throwing Isshin over his shoulder and onto the floor. Hearing all the commotion, Yuzu and Karin came into the living room to see what was happening.

"Hey Rukia, what're the maroons fighting about now?" Karin asked looking at the older girl. Rukia, who had been struggling to contain her laughter at the spectacle, quickly went into her 'perfectly innocent girl' mannerism.

"Oh, your father still believes that Ichigo smells bad," she replied sweetly. Ichigo just grumbled under his breath until he had his feet knocked from under him by Isshin who proceeded to laugh victoriously.

"Ha ha ha, Ichigo! You can't drop your guard for a sec—OOMPH!!" He was cut off by Karin socking him hard in the jaw.

"I told you Old Man," she said, blandly yet frustrated, "Don't blame Ichigo just because you won't change your socks."

"Come on guys," Yuzu said worriedly, "Don't be so rough with him. Dad's not as young as he used to be."

"Oh Yuzu!! It makes Daddy so happy to hear you care about me!!" Isshin hollered, overly-dramatic tears streaming down his face. Because of this, he didn't have enough time to counter Ichigo slamming his face into the wall. "Excellent job…my son…" he groaned as he lost consciousness.

"Can I go to my room now?" the younger male Kurosaki asked dryly.

"After one thing, bro," Karin said, moving over to her brother. He looked at her confused at first, but then his eyes widened as his brain made the connection.

"HELL NO, KARIN!! HELL NO!!!!" he yelled panicking and backing up until his back was to the wall. Looking over at Rukia, he saw she was behind a worry-faced Yuzu with a smirk on her face, clearly enjoying his suffering. 'Damn midget sadist,' he thought angrily.

"Look, when the Ol' Goat comes too, he won't shut up about this unless we actually have 2/3 to say that he's wrong so clam it," she groused. "Besides, you think I don't have better things to do than check my brother's B.O.?" She glanced back at Yuzu and jerked her head to Ichigo, indicating she wanted them to both do it together. Her twin timidly stepped up to stand next to Karin, looking at their older brother apologetically.

"Don't worry Yuzu," Rukia said sweetly. "It's probably like Karin says: you won't smell a thing. Right Ichigo?" She added, turning to look at him. Her eyes sent a pretty clear message: 'Make her feel better or I'll freeze you for a week.'

"Yeah, what they said," he said hesitantly with a weak smile.

"Well, if it's okay with you and it will put Dad's mind at ease, then I suppose I can give it a shot," Yuzu said smiling warmly, not noticing how uncomfortable her older brother was. With a shaky nod of confirmation, both sisters leaned in to smell.

"Like I said," Karin said, leaning back and crossing her arms in satisfaction, "Nothing about Ichigo is worse smelling than usual." This made Ichigo's eyebrow tick with annoyance.

"Apart from a little sweat, I don't think Ichigo smells all that offensive either," Yuzu said, complementing her sister's statement. Not even bothering to answer these statements, Ichigo started to go to the stairs.

"Wait for me, Ichigo!" Rukia called out, moving after him. Unfortunately, that was enough to revive the (formerly) unconscious Isshin.

"Just remember to use protection, you two!" he yelled, grinning broadly…until Ichigo's heel dug itself into his dad's molars.

"Go back to being knocked out, you freak!" Ichigo yelled, his face red in a combination of embarrassment and anger before he stormed loudly up the stairs with Rukia, who had blushing cheeks herself.

"Oh Masaki!" Isshin wailed dramatically, kneeling before the poster of his late wife. "Our children have become so distant to me! WHERE'D THE LOVE GO?!?!"

"Probably to wherever your brain went, Old Man," Karin said dryly.

* * *

Later Ichigo was sitting at his desk, working on his homework, while Rukia was lying on his bed, reading her manga. Kon was currently bound and gagged in the closet and had been since he had tried to make a pass at Rukia earlier. Then, both Rukia's phone and Ichigo's substitute license went off, indicating that there were hollows that needed to be purified.

"Three hollows west of here," Rukia called out, reading the report on her phone screen as Ichigo pressed the license to his chest. "I'll put Kon in your body if your family comes looking for you." This got Ichigo's attention as he looked over at her in confusion.

"Wait, you're not gonna come along and help?" Rukia ignored him as she started to talk to herself.

"I wonder what Yuzu is making tonight. Some _curry_ and rice would hit the spot all right." She looked over at her partner with a cocked eyebrow. "Wouldn't _curry_ and rice hit the spot, Ichigo? I'm only asking because I know how much you like _curry_."

"All right, all right! I'm going already!" he said walking over to the window. "Just stop playing the martyr, Rukia." With that, he jumped out to deal with the hollows, leaving Rukia alone with her thoughts.

'Is it just me, or does the whole room smell like cinnamon?' She didn't have time to dwell on it however as the closet opened up to show Kon who escaped his containment and leaping over to her.

"RUKIAAAA!!!!"

--WHAM!!--

"Not now Kon," she said, lowering her fist as Kon slid down the opposite wall.

* * *

"Gotcha," Ichigo said, leaping to land in between the soul of a young girl and two giant hollows. The one on the left was on its hind legs with an armadillo's shell on its back, giant mole claws and a mask that looked like an anteater. Its partner was on all-fours; it had cloven-hoofed feet with a zebra-striped body and a mask that looked like an ox, complete with horns. "So, who's first up to get beatdown?" he said, smirking confidently as he pulled out Zangetsu from over his shoulder to hold the giant cleaver blade in front of him.

**You think you can take us both on Soul Reap-- **the anteater hollow paused to sniff before covering his face with his claws. **OH, GROSS! WHAT DID YOU ROLL IN, MAN?!**

**Roll in? This guy probably dived head-first into a dumpster!** Said the ox-faced hollow, pushing his face into the side of a building. **Besides, you shouldn't complain. At least you can protect your nose from the stench!** This conversation was quickly irritating Ichigo to no end.

"SERIOUSLY?! YOU GUYS TOO?!" he yelled at them slightly scaring the girl behind him. Holding Zangetsu in front of him, he continued, "I've been having a really bad day here; so why don't you two just shut up and get over here so I can let out some aggression?"

**NO! WAY!** The armadillo complained turning to leave. **Nothing is worth this torture on my nose. You want the girl? YOU CAN HAVE HER!! I'M GONE!!!** With that, he opened up a Garganta and went back to Hueco Mundo.

**Hey wait! Don't leave me here with Stink-O!** Zebra followed suit, leaving behind an angrily-twitching Ichigo. Feeling a tug on his shihakusho, he looked down to see the girl looking up at him curiously.

"You don't smell that bad to me, mister," she said, obviously thinking she was being nice. Sighing heavily to keep his temper down, Ichigo's eyes widened as he thought of something he should've realized sooner.

'Rukia said that there are _three_ hollows; so where's--' A screech from above was the only warning he got to grab the girl and jump away before the third hollow could eat them. Checking out the newcomer, Ichigo saw that this hollow looked like a giant Copperhead snake. Turning its masked face to look at him, he saw that it was staring at him with blank yellow eyes, the teeth were rows of curved fangs with four large ones at the front of the mouth and was…drooling?

**So delicious… **it said, with a female voice. **Won't get away… Must have… YOU'RE MINE, SOUL REAPER!!!!** With that, it lunged forward.

Holding Zangetsu ready, Ichigo stood his ground as it came closer. As the hollow came closer, he swung his sword…and was surprised to find that the hollow didn't even try to move as the edge cut through the mask. He was so stunned, he kept staring as the hollow disappeared. He was shaken out of his stupor when the girl hugged him around the waist.

"Thank you Mister!" she said happily. "You're nice, even if you are a grumpy-pants."

"…Good to know," he replied dryly, not quite sure how to take the statement.

* * *

After performing the konso on the little girl and sending her to the Soul Society, it was already late at night, so Ichigo hurriedly made his way home. Even though he didn't get to eat dinner, he was hopeful that he could at least get a few hours sleep.

'Besides,' he thought as his stomach grumbled, 'Since Kon had to use my body to eat, maybe I'll lose the hunger pangs.'

When he landed on his windowsill, he was met by his own face minus the usual scowl.

"Where've you been, Ichigo?!" Kon asked loudly. "I had to endure a meal with _your_ psycho dad always attacking me and your sister talking my ear off. If it wasn't for the fact that my beautiful Rukia was there--" at this point, Ichigo slammed his license into his body's forehead and Kon's pill fell out of the back of his head and onto the floor.

"Too tired to put you back in your body tonight," Ichigo muttered, picking up the pill and putting it on his dresser. Turning to go back into his body, he heard his door creaking open. Looking over at the opening, he saw Rukia standing in her pajamas, her bangs covering her eyes.

"Rukia," he said jerking his head in acknowledgment, "You wouldn't believe what happened with the hollows you sent me out to take care…" he trailed off when he watched Rukia walk slowly forward, swaying slightly as she moved. When she was only a few feet away from him, she came to a stop.

"Uh, hey Rukia you okay?" he asked, waving his hand in front of her face. She didn't respond at all so, at the cost of his shins, Ichigo went for what was known among Rukia's friends as 'The Suicide Method.' "Chappy is the biggest dumbass rabbit in the history of dumbass rabbits." He braced himself for the inevitable impact that was to come.

Or at least, that was _supposed_ to come. Looking back at her, he saw she hadn't moved at all since she had walked toward him. That when he took a closer look at the Rukia in front of him. Once he saw past the bangs, her eyes were out of focus and half-lidded. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong with her.

"Rukia," he said slowly, removing his zanpakuto just as slowly as to not startle her. "Are you sleepwalking?" This time, he received an answer; just not one he was anticipating.

She spun around and swept Ichigo's feet from under him, sending him to the floor.

"Ow," he yelled in pain as he rose up into a sitting position, "What the hell did you do that f--" he was cut off as Rukia straddled his lap, grabbed his head and yanked him into a full-blown kiss on the mouth.

'Holy hell,' he thought panicky as he heard her growling softly against his lips and moved her arms to wrap around his shoulders. 'Of all the ways for me to have my first kiss, getting knock on my butt before having a sleepwalking Rukia wrap herself around me isn't what I had in mind. Wait… why am I still sitting here?! She's gonna kill me if I don't wake her up now!!' With that, Ichigo grabbed Rukia's shoulders and pushed her off before swinging his arm at her face.

--SMACK!-- _That_ got a response from her.

"OUCH!!" she cried out, shaking her head, obviously awake now…and boy, she wasn't happy about it.

"Ichigo!" she said, jumping up and kicking him hard in the ribs. "Why did you hit when I was sleeping, HUH?!?!" Massaging his ribs, Ichigo gave a deadpan look.

"That's a really good question, Rukia," he said, calmly, "Now here's one from me: what are you doing in my room?" Hearing this, Rukia looked around to seriously take in her surroundings. When she realized where she was, she got up close in Ichigo's face.

"Why'd you bring me in here, Ichigo?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"I didn't," he replied angrily, "_You_ were sleepwalking and _you_ ended up in _my_ room." Silence filled the room after this was said.

"Tomorrow, we go to see Kisuke and tell him about all this," she said with finality.

"Done." With that, Rukia left the room, shutting the door behind her. Sighing, Ichigo got up and went back into his body before rolling onto his side. 'Maybe I should've told her the truth,' he thought to himself before rethinking his thought. 'Who am I kidding? She'd murder me in my sleep if she knew.'

* * *

Rukia lay on her back on her bed in Yuzu and Karin's room, staring up at the ceiling in deep thought.

'He says that I went into his room while I was asleep, but he didn't tell me _what_ I was doing,' she thought cryptically. 'All I know is that he hit me to wake me up and I was on his lap with my arms on his broad shoulders--' she stopped midthought, 'Wait, no! Not broad! Just regular shoulders… and he was looking flushed.' She frowned, as she didn't like where these thoughts were leading to.

"Well," she muttered out loud and pulling the covers over herself, "He'll tell me about it tomorrow; after all, it couldn't be that bad anyway." Her last thoughts before going to sleep was one that confused her: 'Why does my mouth feel so tingly? And why do I taste mint?'

* * *

**_This story is going to be on pause for a while until after I update my other stories. Until then, stay tuned!_**

**-- TwinShadows**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 5**

'Hmm,' Ichigo thought groggily, 'Guess Dad overslept. This has to be the longest uninterrupted sleep I've ever had.'

Rubbing his eyes, he tried to sit up but found that his chest was weighed down by something heavy. 'What the…,' his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of purring and felt something rubbing on his chest. 'Wait, we don't have a cat, so what's laying on me?'

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Eyes snapping open, Ichigo looked over at his door to see Yuzu standing in the doorway, looking like she was about to faint.

"Yuzu," Karin called out, running to join her twin, "What happened? Why are you…whoa," she said staring at Ichigo in shock.

"What's up with you two? Where's Dad?" he asked confused.

"He told Yuzu to get you since he said you smell so bad he can't even come to your door," Karin said in a daze. Yuzu just whimpered, her hands shaking in front of her mouth.

"So why are you freaking out?" They didn't get the chance to answer before he felt something around his waist. Looking down, he figured out why his sisters were behaving so strangely.

Lying on top of his torso was Rukia, a content smile on her lips as she unconsciously rubbed her head on Ichigo's chest and her arms gripping into his back. As she did this, she emitting a purring sound in her throat. Stunned, Ichigo started poking her on the top of her head.

"Hey Rukia, it's time to get up." Groaning, she pushed her face into his chest and gripped tighter onto his back, indicating that she didn't want to get up. Getting annoyed, Ichigo grabbed the top of her head and lifted it so that she was facing him. "Wake up right now!"

"What? What's so important?" she grumbled, opening her eyes, intent to glare at him. But when she saw how close his face was to hers, she paused and looked at her surroundings. When she realized that she was, in fact, in Ichigo's bedroom again, she looked back at him to ask, "Was I sleepwalking again?"

"Yeah, and _they_ got scared when they saw you in here like this," he replied, red in embarrassment as he waved his hand to remind Rukia that they weren't alone. Looking over, she saw Yuzu and Karin staring at her in shock, though Karin's expression was starting to turn into a knowing grin. Confused, Rukia looked back to see that she was holding onto Ichigo's waist pretty tightly. Understanding the situation, her face went scarlet and she leapt off of him.

"I-I-I," she stuttered, trying to keep up her façade, "I guess I just wandered into the wrong room when I left the bathroom last night. It certainly explains why my mattress was so lumpy."

Yuzu sighed in relief while Karin kept on grinning. "Uh-huh," she said plainly not convinced with the vague answer, "You know Rukia, if you're attracted to my brother, all you need to do is say so. It's a lot better reason for coming into his bedroom to cuddle with him than 'I got turned around coming back from the bathroom.'" Hearing this, Isshin came running up the stairs, completely covered in bubble wrap with a fishbowl on his head.

"OH ICHIGO!!!" he hollered, "YOUR SO LUCKY THAT RUKIA IS SO WILLING TO BE SO CLOSE TO YOU DESPITE YOUR RECENTLY UNPLEASANT BODY ODOR!!" Hearing his father's annoying prattle made Ichigo react and jumped on his Dad before grabbing him from the collar of his shirt and the belt loop of his pants through the plastic.

"GET! OUT!" he hollered, throwing Isshin out the door, making the man bounce from the bubble wrap and fall down the stairs. Ignoring the groaning coming from the injured man, Ichigo turned to look at the group of girls in his room.

"Everyone leave so I can get my things together for my shower," he said, struggling to stay calm. "After that, we go downstairs, have breakfast, and we never talk about this again, despite what the old man will say. Do we understand each other?" The rest of the group nodded as they began to file out of the room with Rukia as the last one out.

"I'm sorry for…you know," she said, not looking at him in the eyes.

"Not your fault," he shrugged before smiling reassuringly. "Besides, once we tell Hat-And-Clogs about all this, there's a good chance that he'll be able to fix this. Then, we erase everyone's memories and never have to mention this again."

"Yeah," she chuckled uneasily, "I can't argue with that. We're going after breakfast, so hurry up with your shower." With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Once the door shut however, Rukia leaned on the wall beside the door, sighing heavily. Twice now, she had fallen asleep and woken up to find herself close Ichigo and it was starting to scare her. 'What's going on? What's happening to me?' Shaking her head, she got up to head downstairs; she couldn't let Ichigo see her so confused. 'Whatever is going on here, maybe it'll stop once Kisuke is able to ascertain the cause of it.'

* * *

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!!!"

When Rukia and Ichigo had left the Kurosaki Clinic, they had gone straight to Urahara's Shop to get a solution to this new problem. What they hadn't been expecting was a sign on the door saying, "OUT TO LUNCH. COME BACK AT 3:00."

"How can you be 'out to lunch' at 7:30 in the morning?!" Ichigo complained loudly.

"Relax, Ichigo. We'll just come by after school and see if he can help us then." Before her companion could retort however, the door slid open to reveal Renji walking out, his hair tied up in a braid, indicating that he had just rolled out of bed.

"Sheesh, it's too early to be dealing with this," he muttered before he inhaled through his nose to start complaining. "WHOA!! Ichigo man, you stink!!"

"So I've heard," he replied flatly. Rukia decided to intervene before things could escalate any further; with these two, all it would take was one small push.

"We need to see Kisuke," she said. "It's…well, it's not a _real_ emergency," at this Ichigo cleared his throat and her cheeks grew redder at what he was implying, "But it seems that something has happened with Ichigo's, um, new scent." Renji's eyes widened slightly at this before he felt the corners of his mouth start to turn upward before he stopped himself.

'Easy Renji,' he thought to himself, 'Can't get too excited just yet.' Plugging up his nose, he spoke out loud.

"Well, Kisuke's not up yet," he said nasally, which served to both protect his nose and annoy Ichigo, "The guy stayed up all night working on some invention or other and now, he's completely out of it. Tessai put up the sign, just in case the guy doesn't wake up until then. You know how lazy he is."

"Great, so I gotta go through another day of this crap!" Ichigo yelled, throwing his arms up in exasperation, causing Renji to gag in disgust.

"Ichigo, how about you go ahead to school? I'll catch up," Rukia said firmly, crossing her arms which meant that Ichigo couldn't argue with her.

"Fine whatever," he sighed, shouldering his bag. "Just don't take too long okay? We need to talk about what happened earlier." With that, he started jogging in the direction of the high school, leaving behind a blushing Rukia and a frowning Renji.

"What was he talking about?" Renji asked, before thinking of something. "Did he do something to you?"

"NO!" she replied loudly before straightening herself. "No, he didn't, but that actually is part of why we need to talk to Kisuke right away. So tell him that we need to talk to him."

"I got it, I got it," he answered her, waving his hands reassuringly before he thought of something else. "How come you weren't bothered by his stink?"

"Well," she replied slowly, blushing again, "Apparently, only males think he smells horrible. The girls who smelled him seriously…liked it." This made Renji's jaw drop in shock.

"What seriously?! Why do they--"

"It's because he smells like cinnamon, all right? So just drop it!" Renji blinked.

"Wait…you mean _you_ smelled--"

"Sorry Renji. Can't talk now; gotta go bye!" she said hurriedly, speeding away after Ichigo. Renji just stood there gapping at the empty space in front of him. Shaking his head, he frowned in confusion, scratching his head.

'I thought the LP v.9.0 was supposed to be a stink bomb, so why did Rukia say it made him smell good?' he thought curiously before carelessly shrugging an going back inside. "Oh well, as long as they don't trail it back to me, I'm sure this is gonna be all right," he said out loud, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Hi Ichigo," Orihime called, waving to him and smiling widely. Tatsuki, hearing this, looked over at him and just gave a jerk of her head and a low-volume greetings, her slightly red cheeks being a dead giveaway that she was still embarrassed about what occurred yesterday.

"Hey guys," he responded with a slight wave of his free hand. Glancing around at his male friends, his frown deepened as it was obvious from their twisted expressions and hands covering their faces that they still figured that he still smelled terrible.

"Where's Rukia, Ichigo?" Orihime asked concerned, "Was there an, um, _issue_ that she needed to take care of?" By 'issue,' she was talking about hollows.

"No, she just had to check on something with Renji. She should be here soon," he replied. After he said that, the door opened and said girl walked in, sweating slightly and panting from overexertion.

"Sorry I'm late everyone," she said, using her sweet voice. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"Nah, you made it here with plenty of time to spare," Tatsuki reassured her.

"Orihime! How are you--?" Chizuru cried, ready to leap forward and "hug" Orihime. Then, she saw Ichigo standing next to her and slowly backed away until she was at her desk and sat quietly.

"Whoa," Tatsuki said impressed, "I think that that's the first time Chizuru has actually ever let go of a chance to make a pass at a girl."

"You mean besides you, Tatsuki?" She glanced at her male friend when he made this statement.

"Yeah I do," she replied, poking him in the chest to express her point, "And don't act too smug; just because that cologne you're wearing worked yesterday doesn't mean it's gonna work today."

"So, how come you're rubbing his chest like that?" Rukia asked slowly, her smile starting to look more like an animal bearing its fangs as a warning.

Tatsuki realized that she could feel Ichigo's hard chest under her palm and fingertips, right before she realized that her hand was moving in circles without her telling it to.

"Sorry. Don't know why that's happening," she apologized, blushing as she tried to take her hand off of him. The keyword being, "tried." When Tatsuki tried to pull her hand away, it only let go long enough to go under Ichigo's arm and grabbed tightly into his shoulder, nails digging through the cloth of his shirt.

"Okay, joke's over Tatsuki. Now let go," Ichigo groused, reaching out and grabbing her wrist before starting to tug at her arm.

"You think I'm not trying to?" she snapped, panting as she used her other hand to jerk on the offending appendage. "Rukia, Orihime, help us! This sucker isn't letting go!" While the four were having their crisis, the other students simply stared.

"See?!?!" Chizuru screamed triumphantly. "I told you it was mind-control making us do those things yesterday!" Apparently, that wasn't the message that the other girls were getting from what they saw.

"Aww," Mahana whined. "I was gonna ask him out. I should've gone straight at him when he came in."

"What'd I tell you?" Ryo said snidely, not even giving the spectacle a serious look. "Sooner or later, music is going to start, and we send the tape into 'Dancing with the Stars.' Then, we get to watch them trip over themselves on television."

Before the discussion could continue, the grunting sounds alerted them as Rukia and Orihime stumbled backwards, clutching their stomachs where Tatsuki had kicked them.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, guys," she apologized profusely. "I swear I'm not doing this on purpose!" Her leg then swung back to wrap around Ichigo's tightly as the hand she had control over started leaving the other arm, shaking which showed that she was struggling to regain control, to rest itself on the back of his neck.

'This is bad,' Rukia thought getting up and moving to stand behind the struggling duo. 'Whatever's happening with Ichigo is getting worse.' Then, turning to Ichigo's male friends, she called out(somehow still in her false voice), "Guys, could you help us with this mess, please?"

"Oh, sweet Rukia!" Keigo cried, "Forgive me, but I don't dare traverse through Ichigo's terrible B.O.!!"

"Well, someone better do some traversing NOW!!!" Tatsuki hollered, her arms forcing Ichigo's head down as he kept pushing against her. Chad and Uryu looked at each other and nodded before taking a deep breath each and going in.

"Whoa," Mizurio said appreciatively. "Those two have to be the bravest guys I've ever met, huh Mr. Asano?"

"WHY MIZURIO, WHY?!?!?!" Keigo cried dramatically.

When Uryu moved to stand next to Rukia on standby, Chad got right up next to Ichigo and Tatsuki and reached out with both hands, grabbing the collars of both parties' shirts.

"Watch out, Chad!" Tatsuki warned right before her remaining leg went up into the one place that, despite Chad's superhuman endurance, made him go down to his knees, all the guys cringing in sympathy. Unfortunately, without a leg to stand on, Tatsuki's body threw Ichigo's balance off and brought him down on top of her.

Whether it was pure accident or if her body's new mind had forced it, the two ended up landing with their lips pressed together. And if Tatsuki's muffled protests were any indication, her body was going trying to go deeper.

'Oh no,' Rukia thought anxiously as she move to pull Ichigo off, 'If this is what is happening because of Ichigo's new smell, I don't want to find out what she'll do if this goes any further.' But before her fingers could graze the fabric of his clothes…

_Is that really why you don't want her on him? Or maybe you just don't like that it isn't _your _lips he's tasting._

Hearing that voice, Rukia paused to look around in suspicion. This mistake gave Tatsuki's fist the opportunity to jab Ichigo in the stomach, loosening up his tightly-shut lips enough for her rebellious tongue to slip in and begin playing tonsil-hockey with his.

'OH MY GOD!!!' was the common thought among all those present. Uryu came up and grabbed Ichigo's shoulders and started pulling hard. Snapping out of her daze, Rukia aided Uryu by grabbing Ichigo around his waist. This time, Tatsuki's body didn't try to lash out at them, though the grip was still strong enough for her to come up with Ichigo.

Tatsuki herself managed to gain some control over her body because she tore her mouth away before "Orihime, grab me and pull us apart! Hurry!" Hearing her friend's plea, Orihime ran over and wrapped her arms around the trapped girl's torso and tugged as Rukia and Uryu worked on Ichigo. Chad, having recovered from his "injury," put both hands on both victims' shoulders and acted as a pseudo-jaws of life.

With all of them working together, Tatsuki felt herself coming undone from Ichigo. Unfortunately, their triumph was short-lived as the classroom door opened and Ms. Ochi walked in.

"All right, settle down people," she called out before she saw the pile of students in the middle of her classroom, all pausing from their endeavor to stared at her anxiously. "You know, I'm as much a fan of art as the next person, but that has to be the _worst_ example of performance art I've ever seen. Save it for after school, where you can do it privately."

"They're not doing art Ms. Ochi," Ryo put in dryly, looking up from her book.

"Yeah," Mahana added, "Rukia got jealous of Tatsuki making out with Ichigo and tried to separate them. The others joined in after they started saying Tatsuki wasn't in control of her own body." The three aforementioned students went red in embarrassment.

WHAT?!" Tatsuki yelled, unconsciously letting go and sending both sides stumbling backwards. "I was NOT making out with Ichigo!!"

"And I told you already, Mahana," Rukia added hurriedly. "Ichigo and I are just friends. I don't see him like that at all."

"Stop," Ochi interrupted, "You guys can work out your little love triangle on your own time. Until then, everyone in their seats and we focus the lesson. Got it?"

* * *

**_Sorry for cutting this chapter short, but I split this chapter into two. I'm about halfway through the next one so it shouldn't be too long before the next chapter is up._**

**_--TwinShadows_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 6**

"So, care to fill the rest of us in?" Uryu asked, pushing up his glasses.

"Well Uryu," Ichigo growled, "If you and Chad came closer, I'd tell you guys without straining my vocal cords!!" Despite the fact that they were all just to themselves, only Rukia and Orihime were able to stand near him. Chad and Uryu were still keeping their distances, thought they were able to be closer than before; the downside being that they had to take shallow breaths and hold their noses.

"You say that like losing your voice was a bad thing," the Quincy replied with a smirk on his face. Before Ichigo could counter however, Rukia intervened.

"We don't have time to argue, Ichigo." Then turning to the others, she continued, "We don't know what's causing this, which is why we tried to talk to Kisuke about it this morning. Unfortunately, we have to wait until after school to get a better understanding of the situation."

"Um Rukia," Orihime asked curiously, "Did something happen with you and Ichigo too?" At this, Rukia cleared her throat, blushing in embarrassment.

"Well, I might've sleepwalked into his room last night," she said hesitantly, not wanting Orihime to get the wrong idea. Unlike Ichigo, she knew about how the girl felt about him and didn't want to hurt her; they were, after all, friends. "But I don't know why. I wasn't even thinking about him when I was asleep."

"So what were you dreaming about?" Chad asked. Everyone else looking at her, Rukia realized that she had to tell or they would never stop hounding her, especially Ichigo.

"Fine. Here it is…" she began.

_/Dream sequence…/_

'The first time…I was wandering down the side of a mountain, but I wasn't myself…'

_Leaping from the comfort of her territory on the mountainside, Rukia landed among a lush jungle. Feeling thirsty, she wandered until she found a freshwater stream. Leaning forward to take a drink, she found that the reflection of a snow leopard staring back at her._

'But, when I had those first laps of water from the stream…'

_A low growling across the stream alerted her that she wasn't alone. Cutting through the shallow stream, she started walking through the bush until something came in front of her._

_It was a large tiger, standing in front of her, looking at her with warm, brown eyes. Strangely, there was a scar on it's chest in the shape of a wide crescent with a slash through the center of it._

'I should've been terrified by the fact that a wild animal was in front of me, but I wasn't. I actually felt safer being near it than when I was alone. But what next definitely scared me…'

_**Rukia…**_

_She heard someone calling her name. Looking around, she tried to see who it was or maybe where it was coming from, but to no avail. Looking back at the tiger, she found that it had moved to stand closer to her. It wasn't snarling or roaring at her like it was going to attack; if anything it was hesitant, like it was trying to understand her._

'I wanted to be close to it. I wanted to try and figure out what the mystery was behind it. So…

_She leapt forward, startling the tiger as she started rolled around with it until she ended up on top of the tiger._

_**Rukia…**_

_She ignored the voice, instead focusing on playfully licking the maw of her new friend. But before she could do anything else, the tiger roared loudly before swinging its paw and striking at her face._

_/…End dream sequence/_

"After that, I woke up to find that the side of my face hurt from where Ichigo hit me and that I had wandered into Ichigo's room and was sitting on Ichigo," she concluded.

"Wow," Orihime said amazed. "When I have dreams, it's all about my playtime with the Tooth Fairy at a party with sweet buns, honey and ketchup." All the others silently cringed at Orihime's taste in food.

"So, did you have a dream about this tiger the second time you were sleepwalking into my room?" Ichigo asked, making Rukia stiffen.

"There was a second time?" Chad inquired. Rukia glared at Ichigo for slamming the spotlight right back onto her after she had just had move past her.

"All right; if it's so important to all of you, I did have a similar dream. Here it is…"

_/Dream sequence…/_

_The icy wind of the snow storm whipped around her, stinging her eyes and biting into her numb toes. The leopard could barely see in front of her as she looked for any shelter available._

_**Rukia…**_

'I don't understand why I felt cold, but when I heard the voice again, I knew I just wanted to try anything to get warm again.'

_Then, moving to the left, she noticed a cave, the upper lip overhanging so that it provided shelter from the storm. As fast as she could, she started running through the snow bank._

'I was thrilled to be out of the storm, but I still felt the chill down in my bones. So I decided to go in deeper to try and get warmer…'

_Lying there, curled up in a ball, lay the tiger from her first encounter. Shaking the snow stuck to her fur, she made her way over to it and nudged the tiger's side. Growling, it shifted itself so that there was room for her to lie down next to him._

_**Rukia…Rukia…**_

'That voice kept calling me over and over again, almost desperately. But I felt so exhausted and cold, that I didn't even think about it…'

_Moving forward carefully so as not to disturb the sleeping beast, she lay next to its side, snuggling into the warmth of its body. Growling softly, she immediately felt better, turning her face towards the tiger's chest and breathing in its strong scent. Unfortunately, as she was getting comfortable, she stared feeling water droplets hit her on the head._

_/…End dream sequence/_

"I couldn't help but think, 'Come on, I just want to sleep here and stay here for a while.' But then Ichigo yanked my head up and I was forced to wake up," she concluded, eyebrow twitching from her annoyance at telling this out loud. This conclusion was met with silence as the others processed what they heard.

"So…you don't see any correlation between what happened in your dreams and what you were doing as you were sleepwalking?" Uryu asked incredulously. Rukia stared at him before her eyes widened with understanding.

"Oh my god," she whispered, "My dreams must be a way of me seeing what I'm doing while I'm sleepwalking!" Before anyone could say anything else, the door opened to reveal Tatsuki looking edgy and anxious, cheeks neon red as a sign of her still remembering the incident just a few hours ago.

"Um, guys," she said hesitantly. "I really want to say that I'm sorry for what happened in class. I swear that I don't see Ichigo more than a friend and I didn't mean to, you know…" she trailed off, her face completely consumed by scarlet coloring.

"It's okay, Tatsuki," Orihime comforted her quickly with a smile. "We believe you; we know that it wasn't your fault."

"That's right," Rukia added with her sweetie attitude. "We're all behind you 100%."

"Well, I wish everyone else was!" Tatsuki was losing her blush as her facial features went from embarrassed to frustrated. "And them believing that me, Ichigo, and Rukia are in some stupid love drama isn't even the worst of it!"

"So tell us, Tats," Ichigo said frowning. "Trust me, nothing you say about it can make us think you've lost your marbles."

"That's good to know," she replied with a sigh of relief. "But first, Ichigo, I'm sorry that I'm asking this but for the next couple of days, could you stay a few feet away from me? It's nothing personal, but I really don't want a repeat. You understand, right?" She said this last part with a hopeful glance.

"Fine, sure, whatever," he replied exasperatedly. "Now just tell us what's so crazy that ya can't just say it out loud."

"Well," she said hesitantly. "It was when you and I fell over—Again, I'm really sorry about that, Chad," she changed the subject, looking at the young giant she had injured.

"Not a problem," he muttered. The guy was just too nice to hold a grudge, unless it involved someone trying to hurt the people he cared about.

"So, when I went down and me and Ichigo did, um, _that_," here she stopped to wet her lips and take a deep breath before continuing, "I heard a voice in my head talking to me."

Rukia's widened in panic at this. "Y-you heard a v-voice?" she stuttered worriedly. 'Oh please don't let it say what I think it's going to say,' she thought desperately.

"Yeah," Tatsuki continued, not pointing out Rukia's freaking out; she had just attributed it to being shaken by this new information. "And you'll never guess what it was saying to me…"

_/Flashback/_

_Whether it was pure accident or if her body's new mind had forced it, Ichigo and Tatsuki ended up landing with their lips pressed together. And if Tatsuki's muffled protests were any indication, her body was going trying to go deeper._

_**Why are you fighting this? What you're doing is natural, so enjoy yourself. You and I both can agree that he is smokin' hot!**_

_'What?' she thought frantically, still trying to free herself from her own body's imprisonment. 'Who the hell are you? Are you making me do this?! 'Cause if you are, KNOCK IT OFF!!!'_

_**Why should I? Oh, right…it would be unfair to **_**her**_**. I don't get why you hafta to sacrifice your own wants and need when we both know that chances are, she's never gonna work up the nerve to go for him herself. So, why not indulge in the forbidden fruit yourself?**_

_With that,__ Tatsuki's fist jabbed Ichigo in the stomach, loosening up his tightly-shut lips enough for her rebellious tongue to slip in and begin playing tonsil-hockey with his._

_'OH MY GOD!!!' she thought angrily, 'You had better give me back my body or I'm gonna--'_

_**Seriously, you're way too tense. If you're so concerned about it, then just pretend to fight while you enjoy his sweet taste. That way, if anybody asks, you can still say you didn't want drink in his delicious lips.**_

_'SHUT UP, YOU PERVERT!!!' she shouted in her mind as Ichigo and her were pulled upright by Rukia and Uryu. 'For the last time, GO AWAY!!!' She heard the voice scoff in annoyance._

_**Fine, have it your way. But I'm going to do it slowly so that I can get as much enjoyment out of this as I can.**__ With those final words, Tatsuki was able to feel control of her head and her mouth again. Hurriedly, she ripped her mouth away from Ichigo's and called, "Orihime, grab me and pull us apart! Hurry!"_

_/Return to Present/_

"And well, you pretty much know the rest," Tatsuki finished her story. Looking at her audience, she saw that Orihime was looking sympathetic, Uryu stood there looking at her analytically, Ichigo was staring at her with a growing blush across his face and Chad just stood there impassively. Then, she looked at Rukia and frowned. "Hey Rukia, what's up with you?" Immediately, all eyes went off of her and onto the "young" woman she spoke to.

Rukia was staring at her, eyes wide with what looked like terror. Sweat rolled down the side of her face as her breath came out in heavy pants and she looked like she was going to pass out. What Tatsuki had just described had happened to her while it was happening to Ichigo and Tatsuki; there was no way that this was a coincidence.

Looking around, she realized that everyone was looking at her worriedly, so she decided to try and cover up her panicking. "I-I'm sorry for freaking out guys," she said sweetly. "It's just that, the voice Tatsuki heard sounded nothing like her.." After this, she started sniffling and pulled out a handkerchief to dap at her eyes. "And the things it was saying was so frightening and awful, I was scared out of my mind at the visions in my mind."

Ichigo rolled his eyes at this so-called "performance." Every time she tried to be an actress, Rukia would always pour it on and make it seem so unbelievable. 'There's no way Tatsuki will believe that a supposed 15 year old girl wouldn't know understand about something like that,' he thought.

"Oh," Tatsuki said, like she just understood something that had been confusing to her for some time. "You lived a sheltered life, didn't you Rukia?" Rukia blinked in response, not truly understanding what a 'sheltered life' was.

"Uh, yeah," she replied, deciding just to go along with what Tatsuki was assuming than trying to use some other reason. "Absolutely right, Tatsuki! I've had a sheltered life!" She said this last part like she was proud of herself. Ichigo almost burst out laughing from the sheer foolishness of her statement.

"It actually makes sense when you think about it," Tatsuki continued, nodding her head. "That explains why you seem oblivious about stuff that's common knowledge with everybody else."

'Yeah that's why,' Ichigo thought with a scoff. Hearing this, Rukia made a swift kick to his leg before Tatsuki could notice.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys in class," she added with a wave as she started to head towards the door. Before she reached it however, she looked back.

"Oh and Ichigo? Whatever toothpaste you're using, keep using it. I can still taste the minty flavor of it; though if you tell anyone I just said that, I will deny it first and kick the crap out of you afterwards," she finished, blushing from what she was implying. That said, she moved quickly and yanked the door open before heading downstairs.

"It seems like whatever is going on with you is getting worse," Uryu observed.

"No kidd--HACK!!" Ichigo's comment was interrupted by Rukia pulling his collar down to her eye level. And those eyes were livid at least.

"Isn't it interesting how she says she can taste mint after she kissed you," she began to ask slowly, "When I could taste the same thing after my first sleepwalk into your room?"

Ichigo chuckled nervously before answering, expecting his interrogator to explode when he did. "Well…" he started, his cheeks blushing. And the dam broke.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADAVANTAGE OF ME LIKE THAT!!" she hollered, slamming her fist into his stomach.

'Here they go again,' thought the three bystanders, watching with silent amusement at how the two interacted with each other.

"_YOU_ KISSED _ME_, RUKIA!!" he yelled back, angry and insulted that she thought he would do such a thing. "BESIDES, I KNEW YOU'D FREAK OUT ABOUT IT IF I TOLD YOU!"

"OH, I HAVEN'T EVEN _BEGUN_ TO FREAK OUT!!"

"YOU MEAN LIKE WHEN TATSUKI SAID SHE WAS HEARING A VOICE IN HER HEAD?! WHAT, DID YA HEAR A VOICE TOO?!?!" This statement made Rukia stop talking and look down in embarrassment. Ichigo blinked in astonishment. "Wait," he said in a normal tone of voice, "You mean you really heard a voice in your head too?"

"Well…" she replied slowly, not daring to look up at her friends' expressions. "Yes, but I only heard it once."

"It's okay Rukia," Orihime interjected, putting her hand on her friend's shoulder comfortingly. "You don't have to tell us if you aren't ready yet." She was being surprisingly mature for what was going on recently: all her female classmates (minus her and Rukia) feeling Ichigo's boy in public, her best friend forcibly making out with her "secret" crush, and now finding out that two of her close friends might be going insane.

"No, it's okay Orihime," Rukia said, breathing slowing before looking up at everyone. "It was when we were trying to separate Ichigo and Tatsuki. In fact, if you wanna be specific, it was when you and her started, um, kissing." At this, Ichigo went red, still embarrassed about the whole incident.

"Go on, Rukia," Chad coaxed gently. "We won't think anything less of you." She nodded and continued.

"Anyway, when she did that, I thought that I had to stop it because, since Ichigo's new smell made such a crazy thing on its own, I didn't want to wait and see what would happen next," she said, before she started shuffling her feet. "But when I tried to separate them, I heard a voice, and it asked me whether I wanted to split them up because of that reason or…"

"Or what?" Ichigo asked, raising an eyebrow. "What other reason could there be?" Rukia looked away, blood rising up into her cheeks with the thought of what they would think of once they heard this.

"…or if it was because it wasn't _me_ who was kissing you," she finished softly. Everyone stared at her in shock. Of all the things that she could've said, _that_ wasn't what they had been expecting. Uryu sighed, pushing up his glasses.

"All we can do at this point," he said carefully, "Is wait until after school, then we go to see Urahara and maybe he will know what to do."

"But what if something else happens before then?" Orihime asked worriedly.

"Don't worry about that, Orihime," Ichigo said flatly. "It'll only happen to me."

* * *

Unfortunately, he nailed that prediction right on the head. The first thing was that, for the rest of the day, not only did the boys avoid him because of his smell, now most of the girls were side-stepping him to try to not become the next Tatsuki.

Not only that, but Rukia got a message of a hollow attack and, since he forgot to bring Kon because this morning's drama, Rukia had volunteered to go after it. That left Ichigo at the mercy of her cutesy but psychotic gikongon, Chappy, who apparently was just as drawn to Ichigo's new scent as every other female that got close enough to him.

And she wasn't planning on letting him get away from her. Her exact words were, "Either you be cuddley-wuddley with me, or your arm is gonna go bweaky-weaky!" Needless to say, there had been no need to think about it. So he ended up with a Rukia lookalike clinging to him in front of everyone until the real Rukia came back.

Ichigo couldn't wait until the day was over so he could get rid of whatever was causing this.

* * *

"Finally," he said loudly as the group arrived at Urahara's Shop. "I just want this nightmare to be over!"

"Will you stop exaggerating? It wasn't that bad," Rukia said before Ichigo looked at her angrily. "However, I'll admit that I'm just as anxious to end this." As they got close to the front, they saw Jinta swinging his broom like a baseball bat and Ururu sweeping with her's. "Hey there!" she called out to them and getting their attention. "We need to talk to Kisuke. Is he up yet?"

"He is," Kisuke called out as he slid the door open. "So what's going on? Renji said something about some kind of emergency you--" he stopped to smell the air around him.

'Here it comes,' Ichigo thought annoyed, '"Oh, Ichigo! What's wrong with you?" It's really grating my nerves.' It surprised him when Urahara took a step back before taking out a pencil and a pad of paper from his coat pocket, wrote something on the top paper and tore it off before handing to Ururu.

"Hey, Ururu," he said smiling kindly at her. "I need you to take this to Tessai. Tell him that I want what's in the box with this serial number brought out ASAP, please. Oh, and if you see Yoruichi, tell her to come out in her animal form. Otherwise, I'll tell her myself." The shy girl nodded as she took the paper and ran inside. Looking back, Urahara's expression changed to one of seriousness.

"Now, just to be absolutely sure…" he trailed off as he moved close enough to Ichigo to be practically nose-to-nose to him. Then, he took a hard inhale. He then started groaning loudly, grabbing his face and stomach as he started gagging violently and staggering away. "Ohh," he groaned after swallowing, "Yep, I thought so."

"Well if I stink so badly, then don't try to smell so close!" Ichigo hollered, angry that he was being insulted for something that Kisuke did himself. Then, Tessai appeared, carrying a box in his hands. The only thing different about him was that he had a necklace with some strange crystal hanging around his neck. Reaching into the box, he pulled out another crystal necklace which he handed over to Kisuke.

"Ahh, much better," he proclaimed, waving his fan in his face as his new accessory swung from side to side. "Now, if the boys will take one of these nifty pieces, we can all go inside where it's private. And then…" his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, "You can start explaining what you're doing messing around with my things, Ichigo."


	7. Chapter 7

_**You know something? I never got why people think that blowing into a person's ear is hot. If anyone's got the answer, please explain it to me in a review. **__**And to everyone who's curious about Renji's punishment…Well, **_**that**_** would be telling.**_

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 7**

The ceiling fan was turning slowly overhead as everyone sat around the table in Kisuke Urahara's backroom, the sound of the clock ticking away the seconds in the background. All the males, sans Ichigo, were wearing the same kind of crystal necklaces that Tessai and Urahara were wearing; the former in the kitchen making tea.

Said shopkeeper was currently staring at Ichigo with cold seriousness. The young man that was being targeted by this gaze was starting to sweat nervously. The whole atmosphere was riddled with tension… until the door slid open to reveal Renji with his hand over his mouth and a black cat running past him to leap onto the table and sit in front of Urahara.

"So, Kisuke," Yoruichi said, her voice disguised to be masculine in her feline form, "Why did I need to change in order to come out here?" Then, she noticed the crystal he was wearing. "Please tell me that isn't what I think it is."

"Unfortunately Yoruichi, I can't," he replied solemnly. "It seems that Ichigo has found my LP series of potions and decided to use it himself." That got the shape-shifter's attention to shift to the aforementioned boy and glared hard at him.

"And here I thought you weren't that kind of person," she lectured.

"What kind of person? What's an LP thingamajig?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?!" Ichigo yelled angrily.

'All right,' Renji thought gleefully, smiling under his hand. 'This is even better than I thought. Not only does Ichigo reek, but now he's taking the heat for me. This is sweet!' Unfortunately, he let go of his face when he thought this, so he got a strong whiff before he could put his hand back into place. 'Now, if only I could block out that reek so I can _enjoy_ my triumph.'

"Hey," he called out through his palm, "You got anymore of those stink-blocking rocks for me, Kisuke?"

"Nope, fresh out; now shut it," Urahara waved him off, not taking his eyes off of Ichigo. Seems like karma was slapping Renji's face all over the place. While Renji was weeping over his poor nostrils, Yoruichi had moved to look Ichigo straight in his face.

"I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth," she said firmly. "Did you take Kisuke's LP chemicals and use it on yourself?"

Ichigo stared back at her, frowning. "I haven't even heard about this stupid LP thing until you and Hat-And-Clogs here started talking about it just a few minutes ago," he replied matter-of-factly. Yoruichi continued to stare at him for a moment before looking back at Urahara.

"He's telling the truth; he hasn't taken it," she said calmly. "Or at least, he doesn't know if he has."

"Well, just to be safe," Urahara muttered to himself, rubbing his chin. Turning to look at Renji, he continued, "Renji, you've been working in the backroom for the past few days--"

"SO?!" he hollered. "THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, YOU KNOW!!" Looking around, Renji saw the others looking at him weirdly. 'Oh, crap.'

"I was just asking if you've seen a cardboard box with 'LP Series; Handle with Care' written on it while you were back there," Urahara continued, blinking stupidly at the redhead. "'Cause if you had, I'd have asked you to go get it for me."

"Oh right," Renji said, grinning sheepishly before looking thoughtful. "Now let's see…" Naturally, he was faking it, but he needed to keep some cover for himself. "Now that you mention it, I think I might've seen a box just like that. Let me go check." And he moved out the door and headed to the backroom.

"That was weird," Ichigo said plainly.

"He's always been like that," Rukia commented shrugging. "Even when we were kids."

"So then, can we get the details on this 'LP' potion business today?" Uryu interjected, shifting up his glasses.

"Right," Urahara agreed. "Well, judging from what I smelled earlier, I'd have to say that we're dealing with one of the later versions of the LP; maybe version 8.0 or 9.0." Orihime held up her hand like she was in class at this. "Yes, what's your question, Orihime?"

"Um, what does 'LP' stand for?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Urahara then pulled out his fan and began waving it in front of his face, chuckling with a smirk on his face.

"'Love Potion' of course." If anyone had been drinking any liquids at that moment, they would've spit it all out in surprise. Ironically, that moment was when Tessai walked in with the tea.

"WHAT?!?!" came the all-around vocalizations of shock form the younger generation.

"Wow, that was pretty good synchronization. Did you all practice that before you got here?" Urahara asked cheekily. Naturally, the left hook from Ichigo knocked that right out of him, steam coming out of his attacker's ears.

"As much as I agree with your anger Ichigo," Rukia said, eye twitching in frustration of what she heard which made her do those embarrassing things, "How about you wait until after he tells us about it? That way, if we don't like what we hear, we can all hurt him."

"In that case, you better start talkin' Hat-and-Clogs or else," he growled. Groaning, Urahara rubbed his nose when he sat back upright.

"I'd suggest doing what he says, Kisuke," Yoruichi commented. Her friend nodded before clearing his throat and started explaining.

"Well, it was back in the day when I was still a Soul Reaper," he started. "As you can imagine, like it is here in the World of the Living, there are people who, shall we say, lack the necessary ability to attract someone they're interested in." Pausing, he started fanning himself and grinned widely at Ichigo. "I guess that explains why you needed it for yourself, huh Ichigo?" His response was an angry growling sound coming from the substitute Soul Reaper's throat.

"Maybe you shouldn't make him so angry," suggested Orihime, nervous at how mad Ichigo was looking. Wisely, Urahara took her advice and continued with his story rather than his antagonizing of Ichigo.

"Anyway, I developed a pheromone enhancer to fix that problem, but naturally, things didn't pan out quite out the way I wanted it to," he said. "That's actually how I was able to tell you had a dose of the later versions rather than like the very first love potion I made."

"Why's that, Mr. Urahara?" Chad asked.

"Because when I tested my first potion, it didn't just attract the opposite sex of the one wearing it," Urahara answered darkly. "It also brought the same sex as well as older and younger of both sexes; not to mention mammals, reptiles, birds, insects, and I'm not 100% sure, but I think a couple of flowers actually made a pass at me when I was running away. In fact, the only one who wasn't affected by me was myself."

"That's terrible!" Rukia said, horrified that such a concoction was conceived. "I can't even imagine the kind of chaos that would've caused!"

"Well, if Renji would hurry up and bring the box of the bottles of the potions, I'll get to the good part," Urahara replied easily, looking around for the aforementioned tattooed Lieutenant. "What's taking him so long anyway?"

* * *

"Now let's see…" Renji muttered to himself, scanning the shelves for his quarry. "Where did I put that stupid box?" Then, he looked down at the shelf below his eyesight and saw the box with "LP Series; Handle with Care" written on the top of the box.

"Oh man," he said, pretending to be frustrated. "Why is it that you can't find anything when you want to?" Then, turning away to look to his left, he muttered sarcastically, "Maybe it's over here…" and he turned his back on his real target and moved toward his next "search place."

* * *

"Wait a minute," Uryu said suspiciously, "You said 'potions' as in plural and 'version 8.0 or 9.0' meaning that you improved it. Are you saying you made more than one?!"

"That's impossible," Rukia interjected, turning to look hard at Kisuke. "After a disaster like that, there would be a ban for its existence, right?" To her displeasure, he chuckled and hid the bottom of his face with his fan before looking over at Yoruichi, who was currently frowning back at him.

"You want to tell them or should I?" he asked her gleefully, apparently amused at some joke that only he and Yoruichi knew about. The cat-woman sighed heavily before turning back to the kids.

"To answer your question, Rukia," she started, "After the effects of Kisuke's first Love Potion wore off, the Women Soul Reaper's Association moved forward with a motion to forbid the further invention of such a potion. And since so many people were affected, the motion was immediately passed."

"Then why the hell is he still making more of the crap if they forbid him?!" Ichigo demanded, slamming his fist onto the table. Chad put a hand on his friend's shoulder to calm him down.

"That was partly my fault, I suppose," Yoruichi answered, "When they made the motion, the Women Soul Reaper's Association didn't allow me to be involved; apparently, since I was Kisuke's friend and captain, they assumed that I might choose to side with him. So by the time I received a copy of the banning, it was too late for me to do anything. One month later, Kisuke brings forth his Love Potion version 2.0 for everyone to see and hear about."

"Did they try to arrest him?" Orihime asked, hanging onto every word like it was a riveting ghost story. At this, Urahara jumped in to give the answer; i.e., brag about his accomplishment.

"Oh, they tried. But I was just as much of a handsome businessman as I am today!" Naturally, he got a rounding glare from his audience. "And like any good businessman…" he added slyly, "I knew how to exploit the loophole they left for me in the ban." That little bit of information stunned the rest of the group into silence.

"What loophole?" Rukia said slowly, not really sure what the Women Soul Reaper's Association could've done to let something this big slip by. Yoruichi continued where Urahara left off.

"You see," she said, swishing her tail, indicating that the memory was still irritating to her, "When the Women Soul Reaper's Association banned the Love Potion, they forgot to give it to me to review it, since I know Kisuke well enough that I could find something that he could use to his advantage; and as a result, they only banned the _distribution_ of the potion."

"The distribution?" Orihime asked, not quite understanding what was so bad about that.

"It means something is handed out to other people," Uryu explained, pushing up his glasses. "And it could be by any means; from selling it for money to giving it away." Orihime blinked at him, still waiting for him to tell her why it was such a big boo-boo.

"In other words," Rukia continued, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration at the incompetence of the people responsible for this, "As long as Kisuke doesn't send any of the Love Potion to other people, he's free to make as many damn potions as he wants and they can't stop him."

"Bingo!" Kisuke chimed happily as Renji walked into the room, carrying the box that he was after. He'd decided that he had spent enough time messing around and that now was the time to show up with his quarry.

"Sorry it took me so long," he said, grunting as he placed the box in the middle of the table before moving to get as far away from Ichigo as he could in the small room. "The thing was buried under a whole bunch of junk in the backroom, so I kept overlooking it."

"Well, as long as we get to check and see which of these was used on Ichigo," Kisuke stated, opening the lid and placing each bottle on the table, being careful to check the labels of each in turn and figure out which was missing from the bunch. "So, I was right. Version 9.0 isn't among them, which means that someone who knew about the potion used it on Ichigo."

"Well, we know that none of the children were even aware of this," Yoruichi said slowly, ignoring Rukia's grumbling about how "I'm not a child. I'm just petite." "And I was against that damn concoction since the first time you made it."

"I actually forgot where I put it when I got bored of making it," Kisuke muttered thoughtfully, rubbing his stubble. "Tessai, did you, Jinta or Ururu know about where I put the box the first time?"

"I prefer to stay as far away from your hobbies as possible, Mr. Kisuke," Tessai replied with a deep voice. "It allows me plausible deniability for when the time comes for it to blow up in your face."

Before Renji could begin his denial of how he had no idea about the LP thing (noone had bothered to tell him what it really was), Jinta opened the door and slammed an empty bottle onto the table before glaring at Renji.

"Hey Moocher!" he said angrily, pointing at the bottle. "If you're gonna live here, throw away your trash! I nearly broke my neck from tripping over that when it rolled out of your room!!" With that, he stormed out to some other part of the store, leaving a very awkward pause in his place.

"Renji…" Kisuke spoke slowly, examining the label on the side of the bottle. Hearing his name, Renji started sweating nervously. "...two questions come to mind: why does this bottle's label say 'LP v.9.0' on the side and what was it doing in your room?" Everyone turned to look at him expectantly, Ichigo's face getting more enraged with each passing second.

Renji scratched the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "Well, there's a really good explanation for that," he answered. "And I'll tell you as soon as I think of one." Moving quickly, he tried to make it to the door in an attempt to escape. The problem was that Ichigo's anger and desire to throttle the culprit made him faster.

"YOU DUMBASS!!!" he hollered, tackling Renji and sliding into the wall. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?!" Thankfully for Renji, Tessai and Chad managed to restrain the strawberry-gone-nuclear before he got the chance to damage Renji further. That left him at the mercy of his childhood friend, who wasn't feeling any more charitable than the guy that was just on top of him.

"I want an explanation now, Renji," Rukia said sternly, her tone plainly telling him that if he didn't do as she said, worse things would happen to him.

"Uhh, okay," he said shakily, getting up onto his feet. "Well, I did it because he set me up three days ago. You know, when he had me buy you all that Chappy ice cream and ended up cleaning out my wallet."

"You said that it was no big deal!" Ichigo protested, his arms still held in place by the two giants. "You even said you'd do the same thing if you were in my place!"

"I just said that to make you lower your guard!"

"Enough!!" Rukia yelled, punching Renji in his head before kicking Ichigo in his stomach. "Ichigo, calm down before you rupture something. Renji, you better keep talking before I really lose my temper."

"Shouldn't _I_ be the offended party?" Urahara asked Yoruichi. "After all, it's _my_ privacy that was invaded." His answer came in the form of Yoruichi sticking her claws in his thigh.

"Well while I was cleaning out the backroom for Kisuke to get some money," Renji continued, not wanting to face Rukia's full wrath. "I knocked the box off the shelf and it hit me in the-- I mean I found it and when I opened up the bottle, it smelled so bad, that I thought I could use it to get back at him."

"Well, congratulations Renji," Uryu said frowning. "That chemical that you gave Ichigo was a love potion that Kisuke made." Renji blinked stupidly as he heard this.

"So what's the problem? Sounds like I actually did the guy a favor." At this point, Ichigo had calmed down enough for Tessai and Chad to let him go, but hearing this made him growl, turning the attention onto him.

"Some favor. Guys are avoiding me like I got the plague and the only girls who haven't grabbed me are Orihime, my sisters, Yoruichi and that little girl Hat-and-Clogs has sweeping up his front yard. In fact," he continued, not thinking about what he was saying in his wanting to tell off Renji, "Both my friend Tatsuki and Rukia have both ended up kissing me because--" he was cut off by Rukia covering his mouth, her face an atomic red.

"I WAS SLEEPWALKING!! IT DOESN'T COUNT AND YOU KNOW IT!!" she protested loudly. Though from the knowing grin on Urahara's face and the "raised eyebrow" from Yoruichi, it was clear that she hadn't been fast enough to stop him from spilling the beans.

"Um, Renji, how did you give the potion to Ichigo?" Orihime asked curiously. You could just hear the loud click in Ichigo and Rukia's brains as they made the connection.

"So that so-called 'peace offering' you made was just a way to poison me?!" Ichigo yelled.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing you didn't save any of that curry for me then," Rukia commented offhandedly. When they heard this, Kisuke and Yoruichi froze.

"You mean you had Ichigo _eat_ the potion?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm. Everyone looked over at him, getting a horrible feeling that things just took a turn for the worse.

"Is that a bad thing?" Chad asked nervously. And when Chad was nervous, then things were probably scary.

"After the first Love Potion failed, Kisuke decided the next one would be applied like humans apply sunscreen or sun-tan lotion instead of drinking it," Yoruichi explained. "That way, when you got sick of the results, all you needed to do was take a shower to stop the effects."

"So what will happen to Ichigo now?" Rukia asked.

"There's no way to tell," Urahara replied, pushing his hat down over his eyes. "Considering that no one's been dumb enough to actually eat it."

"HA! Hear that Ichigo?" Renji asked gloatingly.

"The only thing dumber is actually putting it in food and feeding it to someone else," Uryu put in, making Renji lose his cockiness instantly.

"HA! Yourself, Renji," Ichigo said back, getting close into Renji's face. The older red-head gagged and choked from the intense smell.

"Before we get too deep into this," Kisuke interrupted, waving his fan for a means of getting their attention, "Perhaps we should try to find a solution to this dilemma. In the meantime Renji, your punishment for this will be to stay as close to Ichigo as you can within reason until this is over."

"But he stinks like a pile of dead fish!" Renji complained, covering his face in both hands.

"That's why it's a punishment," Yoruichi said, moving to jump off the table and leave the room. "Finish up here, Kisuke. I'm getting some milk," she called over her shoulder as her tail disappeared around the corner.

"Well," Kisuke spoke again, bringing the focus back onto him, "Until we can figure out how to purge Ichigo of the Love Potion's effects, we need to keep him away from other people to avoid anymore accidental attractions. But the good news is that the parameters that I incorporated into formula seem to be functioning properly, so there are going to be people who are immune to you."

"Such as?" Ichigo asked, really hoping for some kind of good news after such a difficult time.

"Oh, you know, female family members, children and the elderly, men obviously, and women who already have definitive feelings for someone."

"But I'm 10 times his age," Rukia interrupted. "How come I was affected too?"

"By the Soul Society's count, you're actually around his age," Urahara answered matter-of-factly. "Sorry, but that technicality has put you in the hot seat, Rukia." She just groaned, hanging her head in frustration.

"Wait," Ichigo said slowly, realizing something as he looked at Orihime. "Does that mean you can't smell anything because you already have feelings for a guy?" This question made her blush and look down with embarrassment.

"Y-yes I do," she said quietly. Everyone else looked on curiously at the two, thinking the same thing. 'Has Ichigo figured out that she likes him?'

"Well, bring him around at lunch when this is over," Ichigo continued, giving her a smile. "I'd like to meet this guy." Everyone else fell over in shock. 'He's kidding, right?'

"Uh, sure Ichigo," Orihime replied, laughing nervously. Though a part of her was a little hurt that he hadn't figured out her feelings for _him_, it was still nice that he recognized that she had those feelings.

"Say Ichigo," Kisuke said slowly, straightening himself. "Where's Kon?"

"He's back in my room why?" Kisuke then broke out a grin that chilled Ichigo to the bone. "I'm not gonna like what you're thinking of, am I?"

"Probably not. But it's a pretty good solution for now."

* * *

"HOW IS THIS A SOLUTION?!?!" Ichigo yelled, pounding on the door of the metal room he was locked in. The little window in the door slid open to show Urahara's eyes looking in.

"Sorry Ichigo, but we can't have any more girls falling for you," he said plainly, though his eyes showed that he was enjoying himself immensely. "So until we get things squared away with you, you can only come out in an extreme emergency." Urahara could practically see the steam billowing out of Ichigo's ears. "Will you relax? It's only temporary until we can think of a better solution. You can think of this as your own bachelor pad. You've got a bed, mini-refrigerator, bathroom, and your own roommate."

The door then swung open as Tessai flung Renji into the room, kicking and screaming until he landed on the floor face first. Before Ichigo could make a move to get out however, the door slammed shut and he heard the tumblers moving into place as Urahara locked the door.

Yoruichi, in her human form, then leaned in to the window to speak. "Try to understand, this is the only thing we could think of that would truly punish him for causing all of this," she reasoned with Ichigo. "Hope you can take some comfort form that."

"Not much considering I'm still in a metal box," he muttered darkly.

"Well, too bad for you," Urahara sang as he shut the window and turned back to speak to the remaining people of the group. "So, we're all clear on what's going to happen?"

"Yes," Rukia replied confidently. "While you work on a way to make Ichigo normal again…"

"Or at least as normal as Ichigo can get," commented Uryu, pushing up his glasses with a smirk on his face.

"I'll convince his family that he's staying over at Chad's house for a school project," she continued, ignoring the interruption via the Quincy. "Then, tomorrow morning, I bring Kon here and he borrows Ichigo's body so that we don't draw suspicion on ourselves."

"Don't you think Kon might have a problem with this?" Orihime asked timidly. "I mean, we are doing this plan without telling him about it."

"The chance to actually have girls want to be around him, even touch him without it meaning physical pain? That's probably his lifelong dream," Rukia said with a dismissive wave. "Chances are, he'll only have a problem with it because he has to use Ichigo's body."

"STOP TALKING LIKE I'M NOT HERE!!" Ichigo yelled through the door angrily. Everyone simply let him continue venting while they left the shop.

* * *

**_So there you have it. Have a Happy Halloween and don't eat your candy all at once._**

**_--_TwinShadows**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

**-- TwinShadows**

**Love Potion Version 9.0: Chapter 8**

_"Rukia…Rukia…_Rukia!" The dark-haired Soul Reaper jolted awake and sat up quickly before looking around to see who was shaking her and calling out to her. Her eyes quickly found the two Kurosaki twins staring at her. She felt a strong sense of déjà vu from the way they were staring at her: Yuzu looking shocked and Karin with surprise.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her mind still in a fog from just waking up.

"You see," Karin said casually, "When we wake up first thing in the morning and see you out of bed, we assume that you'd be downstairs…" then, her voice went into an accusatory tone. "…not sleeping in our brother's bed when he isn't here!"

That snapped Rukia out of her fuzzy state and sent her brain into a frenzy; looking at her surroundings, she realized that she had ended up in Ichigo's room again, and she knew that the chances of the same excuse she used yesterday working now were between slim and none. 'But how did this happen?' she thought to herself, 'Ichigo isn't even here, so why did I come in here unless…'

"Rukia," Yuzu's voice interrupted Rukia's thought and brought her back to reality. "Why are you in Ichigo's bedroom?" Before Rukia could think of a reply that would more than likely be reasonable to accept, Isshin came barging into the room, voice booming.

"Why it's obvious, my sweet little Yuzu!" he yelled. "It's because Rukia misses my foul-smelling rouge of a son and wants him back in her loving embrace!"

'Suddenly, I envy Ichigo being locked up in a metal room,' Rukia thought wryly before attempting to salvage what little dignity was left in this situation. "No, it's not like that at all," she answered sweetly, though the bead of nervous sweat going down her temple was shining noticeably. "I've always had a problem with sleepwalking; it comes and goes sometimes, but the point is that it'll be over soon."

"You know, that's about as believable as yesterday's gem: 'I went to the bathroom and got turned around heading back'" Karin countered, raising her eyebrow. "It's pretty obvious that you're just making this up."

"Maybe not," Yuzu said, putting her finger to her chin in thought. "I heard that when someone's in denial about something, their subconscious mind will make them do strange things to try and get them to admit the truth they don't want to face." Her eyes then widened in realization as she started smiling widely. "That's it! It must be that Rukia is in love with Ichigo, but won't admit it to herself; so now, her mind's making her come into Ichigo's room as a means of making her realize her own feelings!"

'That's as bad as Rukia's/my excuse,' Karin and Rukia both thought simultaneously.

"Oh Yuzu!" Isshin cried, hugging his youngest child. "It's times like these that make your dear ol' Dad so glad he's got such a smart daughter like you!"

"So what does that make _me_? " Karin said blandly, though her annoyance at him was clear.

"Why Karin, you should know that you're the athletic child," Isshin replied, waving his finger at her. "That leaves Ichigo as the troublemaker!" His answer was rebutted by Karin slamming her fist into his chin.

"Stop stereotyping us old man, and go back downstairs," she said sourly.

"Oh my goodness," Yuzu yelped as she hurried out of the room. "I need to start on breakfast before we have to go to school!" Isshin got up, rubbing his chin as he groaned in pain.

"Yuzu," he called after her, "Can you bring Daddy some ointment for his boo-boo?" With his departure, only Rukia and Karin were left in Ichigo's bedroom.

"Well Karin, I'd better--" she started, but the younger girl held her hand up to silence her before looking at Rukia square in the eye and saying her piece.

"I just want two things between us to be clear," she stated slowly, moving forward towards the girl opposite her. "First, if you don't have feelings for my brother but he does for you, and you're just toying with him, it'll be _me_ kicking your ass for payback."

Despite Rukia knowing that, as a Soul Reaper, she could probably handle anything Karin thought of, she knew from first-hand accounts what Ichigo's temper got like when his friends and family were hurt. 'And if she's anything like her brother,' she thought, 'She'll be just as vicious.'

"I promise, Karin," she answered sweetly. "I would never dream about doing such a thing to Ichigo; plus, we're just friends so there are no chances of him seeing me that way." Karin looked the girl up and down, as though she was checking for any signs that she was lying. When she nodded slowly, indicating that she believed the opposite girl, Rukia let out a silent breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"The second thing is that, if Yuzu's 'denial' theory is actually right," Karin continued, "Then you'd better snap outta denial fast. I don't want to come in here to find you doing something weird like sleeping in one of Ichigo's shirts or something." Hearing this made Rukia's face go red; hearing something like that from Isshin was bad enough, but Karin, who was supposed to be the sensible one, saying something like that was horrifying.

"I'm hungry," She added, acting like she hadn't just made such a lewd statement. "Let's go get some breakfast. And if you're not there soon, I'm having yours as well." With that, Karin left Rukia alone with her thoughts…and a certain perverted toy that shot out of the closet towards her.

"RUKIAAAA!!!" Kon cried, dramatic tears spilling out of his button eyes. "HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT?!?!?!" His answer was a backhand by Rukia into the adjacent wall.

"I knew it was a bad idea to put you back in your body last night," she sighed before going over to pick him up. "Now, I'm taking you over to Kisuke's so that you can substitute for Ichigo until we find a way to cure him."

"NO WAY!" Kon yelled, pointing accusingly at her, "Why should I pretend to be that Lame-O…"

He continued to rant, but Rukia tuned him out, realizing that the only way for him to agree was to tell him the truth. 'Sorry Ichigo, but if we're going to cure you, Kon is going to have to be you and I need to convince him.'

"Because, as of three days ago, Ichigo has become very attractive to the girls in his class," she interrupted, getting the Mod-soul's attention. "So if you were in Ichigo's body then, well just picture it." The living lion plushie put his paw to his to his (nonexistent) chin in thought. She didn't have to wait long as Kon's face broke into a drooling grin, giggling at the images he was seeing.

"Anything my buddy Ichigo needs, he can count on me to help him out!" he said, giving the dark-haired Soul Reaper holding him a thumbs up.

"Good to know," she responded, sweat-dropping. "Now, get in my bag and don't make a peep until we get to Kisuke's. Get it?"

"Anything for you, Rukia!" And after he hopped out of her hands, Kon went directly out the door, heading straight for Yuzu and Karin's room. Finally getting some privacy, Rukia rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration.

'This is getting out of hand,' she thought. 'There's no getting around it; I have to explain this to Kisuke.' As she started leaving Ichigo's room to get ready for the day ahead of her, she had one final thought.

'When this is over and everyone else has had their memories erased, I'll have plenty of time to think of a personal payback for Renji!'

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Urahara spoke slowly, looking hard at Rukia. "You've been sleepwalking, not to mention having explicit dreams that showed you what you were doing, as well as hearing a voice in your head and you didn't think to tell us this yesterday?"

"Well, what do you expect? It's embarrassing; I didn't want to even think about it, let alone discuss it with other people!" Rukia protested. "Besides, I first thought that it was caused by stress or something."

It was uncomfortable at breakfast this morning after the rest of the Kurosaki family caught her in Ichigo's bed: Isshin was ranting about grandchildren, Yuzu kept smiling and asking if she liked her brother yet, and Karin just sat there and ate, smirking in amusement at what she was seeing. Rukia was happy to get out of there, until she realized that she had to tell Urahara about the things she hadn't said yesterday.

"Whatever your reasons, by not telling us this, you've held back information that may help in curing Ichigo. Not to mention that if it's also happening to others, it could turn into something we can't stop." Yoruichi put in seriously, clearly not above using guilt to get her point across. Before Rukia got the chance for a rebuttal, Kon popped out of her bag and started being his usual sensitive self…or rather lack thereof.

"ENOUGH CHATTER; I NEED TO GET INTO ICHIGO'S BODY NOW!!!!'" Everyone turned to stare at the loud Mod-soul. Then Urahara pulled out his trademark fan and smirked.

"Well since you asked so nicely, let's," he said, moving the group towards the metal room where the two redheads were being kept. When they reached the room, Urahara motioned for the two to keep back before putting his protective crystal around his neck and opening the door. He only began opening it before they all heard Renji running and slamming into the door, gulping down the air on their side of the door like a man dying of thirst gulping water.

"Oh, thank god!" he gasped, on his hands and knees. "It was horrible…I didn't think I'd make it through the night! The terrible smell was choking me all night; I'm amazed I got any sleep!" His dramatic speech was cut short by Ichigo kicking him in the butt, the tell-tale throbbing vein present above his eyebrow.

"YOU?! What about me?!?!" he complained. "I was up half the night by your constant whining about your nose, then by your loud snoring…" he paused to hold up his arm, where there was a bandage in place that wasn't there yesterday, "And when I finally _did_ get to sleep, I woke up to find myself strapped down, tape over my mouth, and that **lunatic** putting a giant needle into me!!" He finished by pointing at Urahara, who was fanning himself with a smile on his face.

"I had to get samples from him to figure out how to reverse the damage," he explained. "The only reason those straps were in place was in case he struggled; you know, to prevent him from knocking the needle out and spewing blood all over the floor."

"YA CAN'T EVEN PRETEND TO BE SORRY?!?!?!" Ichigo's indignant rant was cut short by Kon flying at his face and latching onto his face, startling everyone else.

"SHUT UP AND GIVE ME YOUR BODY, ICHIGO!!" Kon pounded his on Ichigo's face furiously. "All those girls are waiting and I can't disappoint them!"

"You are NOT going to use my body to try and hook up with my classmates again, you perv!!" Everyone sweatdropped as Ichigo struggled to remove Kon from his head. Then, Urahara lifted his cane, revealing the flaming skull on the bottom, and drove it into the back of Kon's stuffed head; that pushed Kon's pill into Ichigo's mouth which made him separate from his body. "Dammit!"

"ALL RIGHT!! HERE I COME, LADIES!!" Kon cheered, happy that he was going to get his chance. Unfortunately, that joy was short-lived as he and Renji both fell to the ground, writhing and groaning in pain as they clutched their noses. "Oh damn! Who cut the cheese?!?!"

"Can someone get me a clothespin or something to plug up my nose?!?!" Renji begged, eyes watering. The women standing near them blinked before Rukia smelled the air around them.

"Ichigo, your smell is stronger now," she said frowning. "It's like that night when you went after those hollows."

"You don't say," Ichigo said slowly stepping backwards, away from the females until he bumped into something soft behind him. Turning his head to look over his shoulder, he saw a smirking Yoruichi staring back at him.

"You know I'm called 'Flash Master' for a reason, right Ichigo?" she asked cheekily. The substitute Soul Reaper proceeded to freak out and fall over, scrambling backwards to get away from the dark-skinned woman, who was chuckling at the display. "You can relax Ichigo. If I wasn't immune, don't you think you'd know it?"

"Not really, no." She smiled as she bent down to look him in the eye. She thought it was endearing how he was trying to protect his innocence while trying to look tough.

"Did you already forget that Kisuke said people who already have definitive feelings for someone are immune? He put that in place so that he wouldn't have to deal with an angry spouse or boyfriend," she explained, putting her hand on his head. "That means I'm safe from you and you me. Besides, as fun as you are to tease-" ('What is she saying? What'd she do to Ichigo?' Rukia thought angrily, 'And why am I angry about that to begin with?') "I see you more like my son than anything else."

Ichigo just sat there, blinking. Yoruichi's statement threw him for a loop. Sure, the two of them were student and teacher, and even friends. Admittedly, he felt he always had to be on guard so that she wouldn't surprise him by changing from a cat to a naked woman just to watch him flip out; still, hearing her say that he was a son to her was surreal and it touched him that she cared about him that way.

That didn't last long when he found her fingers and thumbs were pinching on his cheeks. He could hear the barely stifled snickers from the peanut gallery.

"Yes, you are," She said in a baby voice, shaking his head around. "Who's my special baby boy? That's right; you are. Yes you are!"

'Suddenly, I feel sympathetic to Toshiro's plight,' Ichigo thought bitterly, glaring as best he could at his mockers from his position.

* * *

_Meanwhile in Soul Society…_

"Rangiku!" Hitsugaya's sharp voice cut through the office space, startling his lieutenant out of her daydreaming. "Why aren't you doing your work?"

"Uh, well, you see…" she struggled to find an excuse, "I was just taking time to contemplate the meaning of life? And you know it takes absolute focus to do so, Captain."

"Focus you should be putting on your--ACHOO!" Hitsugaya suddenly sneezed loudly, sniffling as he rubbed his nose. "Dammit. Someone must be talking about me; now as I was saying Rangiku…" he trailed off, looking around a now empty office. "What the hell?" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the ruffling of the curtains from the breeze coming in from the open window. The whole Seireitei heard his next word.

"RANGIKUUUUUU!!!!!!!"

* * *

"As touching as this pseudo-family moment is," Urahara chuckled, waving his fan in amusement, "This new development shows that the smell is originating from his Soul Reaper form and his human body is merely toning the smell down, like a filter."

"NO!!" Kon sobbed, hanging his head as his fantasy was horribly dashed. Everyone else just ignored him.

"In that case, we don't have to worry about Ichigo's classmates going nuts," Rukia thought out loud, glad to find some form of silver lining in this dark cloud.

"Wish I could share your optimism," Renji grumbled, managing to get to his feet. "But unfortunately, I don't have the ability to smell anything past the smog that Ichigo's putting off."

"Oh stop your bellyaching; you deserve it since _you_ caused all this," Rukia snarled, still angry at him for doing this over something like ice cream. 'Although maybe I went a little overboard with the Chappy ice cream…Oh, what am I saying? You can never have enough Chappy!'

"Well, this is fun, but if you and Kon don't get a move on, you'll be late for school," Urahara pointed out, causing the two to scurry out of the store, bowling over Jinta and Ururu in their hurry.

"Let us know if you find anything!" Rukia threw over her shoulder before she and Kon-with-Ichigo's-body disappeared from sight. Urahara then turned his attention onto the trembling Ichigo with an evil smile curling on his lips.

"Well now," he said, pulling out a giant needle from his pocket. "After I take a blood sample from you in this form, you and Renji will spar in the training area for sweat samples; we'll figure out what to do after that."

"Well, that's a clear sign for me to get outta here. See ya Ichigo!" Too bad for Renji, Yoruichi was able to grab him by his collar and threw him back to sit next to Ichigo.

"You're still on punishment, Renji," she stated plainly, "So you're staying near Ichigo while that Kisuke gets his samples." The two males could only shake in terror as Kisuke came closer with his big sticker.

* * *

"Now remember, you're to act like Ichigo," Rukia lectured, glaring pointed at Kon as they ran closer to the classroom. "So if you act out in any way that's inappropriate to Ichigo's classmates, I'll tell Ichigo about it and leave you to his mercy."

That threat made Kon cringe in fear. As much as Kon appreciated Ichigo and Rukia for saving him, he was more in favor of showing it towards Rukia. Partly because she was a girl and partly because Ichigo's temper made him slightly scary to the Modsoul, though he'd never admit it out loud.

"N-n-no problem," he stuttered, giving an awkward grin before setting his face into Ichigo's classic permafrown. "Although how anyone can keep their face like this all the time is beyond me."

"He doesn't have that look on his face when he's asleep," Rukia blurted, blinking in surprise at what just came out of her mouth. Kon looked at her strangely hearing this.

"Rukia, do you--"

"IIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIGOOOOOO!!!!" The telltale call of Keigo's daily assault was heard along with the rapid pounding of his feet. When Kon saw Keigo coming, he moved to the side to avoid him. However unintentional it was, as Keigo was running past him, his foot caught Keigo's and sent the poor perverted teen sliding down the hallway, his nose literally rubbing the grindstone or in this case, the linoleum.

"Subtly done," Mizurio commented as he looked on. "A very nice change of pace from your usual abuse of Mr. Asano."

"I hate you Mizurio," Keigo muttered as he got up and moved tentatively towards "Ichigo", sniffing the air as he did so.

"Keigo, why're you acting so silly?" Rukia asked, getting into her school-girl act. Keigo didn't answer at first, his concentration shockingly on something other than girls. When he stopped his procedure and was right next to Kon, his face broke into a grin.

"Awesome! You ditched that awful cologne for us, your friends!" he said loudly, clapping his "friend" on the back. Kon, not knowing what else to do, decided that Ichigo wouldn't let this guy be annoying anymore than he would let Kon himself act like himself; so, he acted according to months of experience with what Ichigo did to him: he threw a punch to Keigo's jaw.

"Stop breathing my air," Kon tried while making sure to keep the frown, since he didn't know what Ichigo said to his friends.

"Hey guys!" Orihime called, waving energetically. Following alongside her was Tatsuki, who started looking uncomfortable when she noticed "Ichigo." The moment Kon saw Orihime though, he almost lost his focus and began to slightly drool. Thankfully, the combination of Rukia's glare in his peripheral vision and the memory of how Tatsuki tore the classroom apart when he kissed her stayed his itching, pervy hands.

"Hi Orihime! Hi Tatsuki!" Rukia waved back. When the two newcomers got close enough, Tatsuki looked over at Kon and smelled the air around him before talking.

"So…" Tatsuki said slowly, "I see you aren't using the new smell today."

"Uh, yeah," Kon replied, scratching the back of his head to imitate Ichigo, "I just felt that I'd take the day off from it, you know?"

"Come on guys, class is starting," Orihime said excitedly. This was enough of a distraction for the rest of the group so they all headed inside. Though sweet and smiling on the outside, however, Rukia was deeply troubled looking at Tatsuki.

'If she was experiencing the same things I did yesterday, why does she seem unaffected now?' she thought carefully, 'I'd better keep my eye on all of the girls, especially Tatsuki, since she's more involved in this than any of the others.' Her fists clenched as she heard the taunting voice again.

_Be careful, you're starting to sound less like a concerned friend and more like a jealous girlfriend...But don't you wish, huh?_

* * *

"All right class," Ms. Ochi called out to the class, tapping the board behind her. "Who here can tell me the solution to this problem I've got up?" Several hands shot up to respond (Kon taking careful caution not to draw attention to himself because he had no idea what was being discussed). "All right, Ryo. What is the answer?"

'So easy,' Ryo thought as she stood up, ready to show everyone why she was the 2nd best student in the class. "The answer is 8.5, Ms. Ochi." The teacher blinked before looking at the problem she wrote before turning back to Ryo.

"Uh…that's incorrect, Ryo." That statement shocked everyone in the room. It was no secret that Ryo was always striving to outdo Uryu Ishida, the number one student in the class. But the real kick to her pride was what happened next.

"Ooh Ooh Oooh! Ms. Ochi, I know the answer!" Keigo called out, jabbing his hand in the air repeatedly. Sighing, Ochi waved her hand, deciding that she wanted some normalcy from this lesson. "The answer's 6 and ¾!"

"That-that's right," she replied, the shocked expression on her face shared with the rest of the class. Ryo was stunned that she was outdone by the dunce. She was so apparently, when she sat down square in her chair she slipped right off the edge.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Michiru asked, helping Ryo get to her feet.

"Yeah, I-I don't know what happened."

"I'll tell you what happened," Mahana interjected. "You've been studying so hard that you forgot which formula to use to solve the problem. Then, when Keigo rattled you by answering the question you couldn't, you lost your balance and fell off your chair. No big secret behind it." Her girlfriends all stared dumbly at her after hearing this.

"Mahana, did you just say a reasonable explanation to something?" Ryo asked.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, you usually let your imagination run wild and end up thinking things that noone else would," Orihime replied, unaware of the irony of her statement. Before they could continue, they each felt the connecting blows of Ms. Ochi's book.

"Girls, whatever you all want to talk about, unless it has to do with mathematics, I'd really not hear it in my classroom," she said sternly. "So save it until lunch, if it's no trouble to your social lives." With that, the girls returned their attentions to their books and Ms. Ochi resumed the lesson. All of this under the scrutinizing gaze of the raven-haired Soul Reaper.

'What Orihime said makes sense; the two of them are acting outside of their usual personalities,' she thought critically, 'Ryo is usually so focused on proving herself to be the best, it rivals that of Captain Soifon and Mahana will always think that, given the right circumstances, anything can be led to have a hidden motive, so why are they acting so different? Not to mention that Chizuru hasn't made a move on Orihime this whole time.'

Her eyes widened silently in realization. 'Could this be more of Ichigo's condition? That if he isn't here, then the ones who already have been subjected to the potion start losing themselves?' Her fingers pressed harder on her Chappy pencil at the thought. 'If that's the case, then Kisuke must be told about this immediately.'


End file.
